Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The economy in US is a very strong one espically the period between the 1960 to 2020,

First of all we will talk about the manufacturing sector in 1960 this sector provide about 15 million jobs for the us citizens but in 1980 this sector reach the top of the sucess when it provide around 20 million opportunities for people then it drops till 2026

on the other hand, agriculture and retail sectors they keep raising and every year become better than last one till 2026 they provid more than 15 million job vacancy,

furthermore and the last sector is health care it is one of the most important sectors in US this sector provide mor than 5 million jobs in 1960 then they become worst every twenty years and we don't know why

in the end the economy in united states is one of the most powerful economies in the world

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes a limited attempt to describe the chart, mentioning manufacturing, agriculture, retail and healthcare, but it does not give an accurate overview of the main trends. Several claims conflict with the data: agriculture declines from about 6 million jobs to 2 million rather than rising, and healthcare rises steadily to about 16 million rather than becoming “worst.” The statement that manufacturing falls “till 2026” also gives a year outside the chart, which ends in 2020. There is no clear summary of the key comparisons, such as retail and healthcare reaching similar levels by 2020. Focus on reporting what the graph shows, with a concise overview and a few accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic sequencing, signalled by phrases such as “First of all,” “on the other hand,” and “furthermore,” and the response moves through the sectors. However, the organisation does not form a clear overview followed by logically grouped details. The agriculture and retail trends are combined even though they move in opposite directions, while healthcare is described separately but inaccurately. Several transitions are mechanical or do not express the relationship between ideas, and the final sentence about the US economy does not summarise the chart. Use separate, purposeful paragraphs and group sectors with similar trends; connect comparisons directly rather than relying on a list of linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing sector,” “agriculture,” “health care,” and “million jobs,” so the subject is generally identifiable. However, word choice and collocation are often unsuitable for an academic chart summary: “reach the top of the success,” “opportunities for people,” and “job vacancy” do not describe the figures naturally. “Become worst” is also an unclear way to report a trend. Spelling errors such as “espically,” “sucess,” and “mor” further reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of trend expressions and use neutral reporting language, such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “stood at.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “but” and “then,” but control of sentence structure is inconsistent. Several clauses run together without appropriate punctuation, particularly the manufacturing sentence beginning “First of all,” and the healthcare sentence. Verb forms and agreement are also unreliable: “this sector provide” and “they provid” should use forms that agree with their subjects, while “then it drops” shifts tense within a past-period description. Articles and prepositions are sometimes missing or awkward, as in “economy in US.” These errors make parts of the account difficult to follow. Practise accurate past-tense sentences and use full stops to separate each trend before attempting longer comparisons.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.