Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph illustrates that information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between [redacted phone].

Overview

overall, this graph are consists in the numbers of jobs into fours sectors which is involved manufacturing sectors are rapidly growth from earlier years but in up coming years that sectors faced slightly downward. Moreover, agriculture sector has not improved with the passage of time its decreased in every years. Therefore, the retail and healthcare sectors has consistently improving respectively.

BP1

On the one hand, the manufacturing sector has significantly attracted jobs in the year of 1960 from 15$ and in 2020 its

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several relevant broad trends: manufacturing rises before declining, agriculture falls, and retail and healthcare increase. However, the report is incomplete and does not adequately summarise or compare the four series. The only figure given is manufacturing at 15 million in 1960, and the sentence about its 2020 value is unfinished; there are no usable details about the other sectors or their relative positions. Some trend descriptions are also imprecise: agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, but not in every interval, as it remains around 3 million from 1980 to 2000. The response is 93 words, below the required 150. To improve, complete the report with key figures and comparisons, and provide a clear overview grounded in the chart.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The use of an opening statement, an overview, and a body paragraph shows an attempt to organise the report, and labels such as “Overview” and “BP1” make the intended structure visible. However, the response stops partway through a sentence, so it has no complete development or conclusion and the information does not progress into a full comparison. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “Therefore” are present, but the relationships between ideas are not always clear; for example, “Therefore” does not establish a logical result from the preceding point. Build complete paragraphs around related trends, use transitions to show contrast or sequence, and ensure each sentence leads naturally to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “manufacturing sector,” “agriculture sector,” “downward,” and “consistently improving,” so the reader can identify the main subject and intended trends. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “attracted jobs,” “rapidly growth,” and “has not improved.” The phrase “from 15$” is also unsuitable for a chart measured in millions of jobs and may confuse the figure with money. Use precise reporting language such as “employed,” “increased,” “declined,” and “stood at,” and refer consistently to “jobs” or “million jobs.” This would make the limited vocabulary more accurate and easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and more extended sentence forms, including “Moreover, agriculture sector has not improved with the passage of time its decreased in every years.” However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “this graph are consists,” “which is involved manufacturing sectors,” and “the retail and healthcare sectors has,” where verb forms and subject–verb agreement are faulty. The final sentence is incomplete (“in 2020 its”), and punctuation is missing between clauses in the agriculture sentence. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, checking singular and plural agreement, and using full stops to separate independent ideas.

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