Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the total number of employees in four different occupations in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, in the starting year the most employees were working in manufacturing sector. The number of jobs in healthcare and retail was increased steadily over the period while agriculture recorded least number of jobs by the end of the given period.

In 1960,15 million individuals were working in manufacturing profession they surge to peak at 20 million job in 1980, that was also highest over any other sector. After 1980, its value decreased gradually and it ended at number three around 16 million workers in 2020.

In 1960 the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors was at approximately 6 and 2 million respectively. However, they experienced a steady climb throughout and they both reached almost at 16 million jobs in each sector. The agriculture sector was idectial to retail sector at 6 million jobs in 1960 while its number of workers decreased and reached at around 3 million jobs in 1980. Subsequently, its value declined slightly over the next 40 years and untimately reached at around 2 million workers that was also minimal number of workers over any other sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, while agriculture ends with the fewest jobs, and you describe the broad rise in retail and healthcare. Most figures are consistent with the chart. However, some comparisons need greater precision: manufacturing falls to about 13 million in 2020, not 16 million, and retail and healthcare do not both finish at approximately 16 million—healthcare is about 16 million, while retail is around 16 million as well, with retail slightly higher. The overview also says both sectors increased steadily, although healthcare’s rise is much sharper after 1980. A more precise overview and clearer reporting of the manufacturing decline would make the key features more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. The sequence from the starting year through later changes is generally easy to follow, and linking words such as “Overall,” “However,” and “Subsequently” help signal relationships. Some cohesion is less effective because ideas are crowded together in the final paragraph, where retail, healthcare, and agriculture are all discussed. Repeated references to “the number of jobs” and “its value” also make the progression somewhat mechanical, and “its” is not always immediately clear. Grouping the two rising sectors together and giving agriculture its own concise comparison would improve the flow and make references clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “surge,” “peak,” “decreased gradually,” and “declined slightly,” which helps describe trends. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this chart. “Occupations” and “manufacturing profession” do not describe economic sectors, while “number three” is unclear when you mean the third-highest figure. There are also spelling errors in “idectial” and “untimately,” and phrases such as “minimal number of workers over any other sector” are awkward. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but more precise collocations and careful spelling would make the description more fluent and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while” and “that,” and the main trends are usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the number of jobs … was increased steadily” uses an incorrect passive form; write “increased steadily.” In “they surge to peak,” the past-tense form should be used, and “they both reached almost at 16 million” has an unnecessary preposition and an awkward structure. Articles and punctuation also need attention, as in “in manufacturing sector” and “In 1960,15 million.” These errors rarely obscure the meaning, but more consistent control of tense, articles, and sentence construction is needed.

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