Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The task shows information about the number of jobs in four sectors- Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture,Healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020. Job's information giver in millions.

IN 1960's job in manufacturing department is almost 15 millions it increases to 20 millions in 1980 but after that a sudden loss is happening in 2000 , from 20 millions to approx 16 millions jobs are available . in 2020 the number of jobs in manufacturing is only around 8 millions . In retail jobs are around 2 millions in 1960's and increased to 5 millions in 1980 and suddenly increases almost 15 millions and after that its almost same likoe 16 millions in 2020. in start agriculture is less requirement but it increase iin large numbers in 1960, only 2 millions but in 2020 its almost 16 millions in 2020 agriculture and retail give same opportuities in job sector. in 1960 demand for health care is high but after that its almost same since 1980 to 2020.

in conclusion , agriculture and retail sectors have high ratio of job in economy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts to describe changes over time, but several central figures and trends are substantially misreported, so the chart is not summarised reliably. For example, retail began at about 6 million jobs, not 2 million, while agriculture declined from about 6 million to 2 million; the response reverses this pattern and claims agriculture rose to 16 million. Healthcare actually increased from about 2 million to 16 million, rather than starting high and remaining stable. Manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980 and fell to around 13 million by 2020, not 8 million. The conclusion that agriculture and retail had high job levels is therefore misleading. Focus on an accurate overview and select a few key comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: the response begins with an introduction, moves through sector descriptions, and ends with a conclusion. However, the main body is largely one long paragraph, and the sequence of information is difficult to follow because several sectors and years are combined in the same sentences. For instance, the sentence beginning “in start agriculture” shifts from agriculture to healthcare and then compares agriculture with retail without clear transitions. Linking phrases such as “after that” are repeated, while the conclusion does not clearly follow from the data described. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key details, and group the sectors by their trends. Clearer references to each year and sector would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “increases,” “jobs,” “millions,” “demand,” and “sector,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “Job's information giver,” “sudden loss,” “less requirement,” and “high ratio of job.” These expressions make the description less precise, particularly when reporting numerical changes. Spelling errors such as “likoe,” “opportuities,” and “iin” also reduce clarity. Aim for standard data-reporting phrases such as “the number of jobs,” “fell to,” “remained stable,” and “accounted for,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, but control of sentence structure is inconsistent. Several sentences run together without clear punctuation, as in the long description beginning “in retail jobs are around 2 millions,” making the sequence of changes hard to interpret. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals, and agreement: “job in manufacturing department,” “15 millions,” and “agriculture and retail give same” need more accurate grammatical forms. Tense and sentence construction are also unstable, for example “a sudden loss is happening” and “in start agriculture is less requirement.” Use past-tense reporting consistently and build shorter, complete sentences around each sector’s figures. More reliable basic structures would improve accuracy and readability.

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