Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The following line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy, namely Manufacturing, Healthcare, Retail and Agriculture between the time period of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing was the largest employment sector at the beginning of the period, but it figures declined after reaching a peak. Whereas, healthcare sector initially begain with the lowest job sector then experienced a significant climbed upwards and became one of the leading sector. Meanwhile, employment in agriculture generally decreased whereas retail showed a upward trend.

In the year 1960, manufacturing accounted for 15 million jobs, making it the largest sector. The figure rose and reached its peak of around 20 million in 1980 then dropped between 10 million and 15 million by the end of 2020. Retail employment, on the other hand, started at approximately 6 million in 1960 and increased steadily, reaching around 16 million.

Heathcare employment also increased over the period. Starting at about 3 million jobs in the beginning of 1960, he figure surged to 16 milloion bt the end of the period. By comparison, agriculture plunged from 6 million at 1960 to 4 million by 2000 before falling to roughly 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response selects the main trends and gives a clear overview: manufacturing starts as the largest sector and then declines, healthcare rises sharply, agriculture falls, and retail grows. Most figures are accurately reported, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and about 20 million in 1980, and retail and healthcare both reaching around 16 million by 2020. The main factual imprecision is healthcare’s starting point: the chart shows about 2 million jobs in 1960, not 3 million. Agriculture is described as falling to 4 million by 2000, whereas the chart indicates about 3 million. The overview is relevant, though “one of the leading sector” could be more precise about healthcare and retail ending jointly highest.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The report is organised effectively into an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. Its progression is easy to follow: manufacturing and retail are discussed first, followed by healthcare and agriculture. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “on the other hand,” and “By comparison” help signal relationships between the trends. The grouping is generally logical, although the final paragraph could compare healthcare’s rise more directly with retail’s growth, since both reach approximately 16 million jobs in 2020. A few transitions are slightly awkward, particularly “Whereas” at the start of a sentence after a full stop, but the overall sequence remains clear and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “accounted for,” “reached its peak,” “increased steadily,” and “surged.” These choices communicate the main movements clearly. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “a significant climbed upwards” and “a upward trend” do not use the correct forms, while “largest employment sector” is more natural than “lowest job sector.” Spelling slips such as “begain,” “Heathcare,” and “milloion” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, conventional chart language and check spelling and word forms; this would make the description more fluent without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including contrast clauses and participial phrasing, as in “Retail employment, on the other hand, started…” and “Starting at about 3 million jobs…”. Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. “Whereas, healthcare sector…” is an incomplete construction and needs an article or a different sentence structure; “it figures declined” has incorrect pronoun and verb agreement; and “the figure surged” is missing the initial letter in “the” in the submitted sentence. There are also problems with articles and forms in “a upward trend” and “one of the leading sector.” Review sentence boundaries, articles, and subject–verb agreement to improve control while retaining the range of structures attempted.

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