Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The diagram illustrates jobs number in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, there is a comparision between the jobs, and the manufacturing is on top at the starting then it is decrease by the time. And some are increases.

Initially, In 1960, the manufacturing jobs are top of the list with holding 15 million jobs, after some time, In 1980, It reach almost 20 million. Then it begin to decrease, and in 2020, it left between 10 and 15. Moreover, the retail starts from 6 million in the starting, then it increase with the time and in 2020, this contain 16 million jobs.

Furthermore, agriculture is also very low in starting, but it did not reach popularity as well others, and it degrade with time and in 2020, this job is left with 3 million. On the next hand, healthcare face crises in the beegining, after that it increase and in 2000, with 11 million jobs, and in the final stage in 2020, healthcare, reach 16.5 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main pattern: manufacturing begins as the largest sector and later declines, while retail and healthcare grow. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and about 20 million in 1980, and healthcare at 11 million in 2000. However, the overview is vague (“some are increases”) and does not clearly summarise the key end-point comparison: retail and healthcare both reach roughly 16 million by 2020, overtaking manufacturing. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 3 million, and healthcare is approximately 16 million, rather than 16.5 million. A clearer overview and more precise reporting of the main comparisons would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to paragraphs describing the sectors. Sequencing within the manufacturing and retail account is generally understandable, and transitions such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” help signal additions. However, the overview is too general to guide the reader, and some linking is mechanical or confusing. “On the next hand” does not clearly introduce a contrast, while repeated “after some time” and “then” make the progression sound repetitive. Capitalisation after commas also interrupts flow. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer comparisons between their figures, would create a more logical progression and make connections between details easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” and “million jobs,” so the subject remains clear. There are also attempts to describe change with words such as “decrease,” “increase,” and “degrade.” However, the range is limited and several choices or combinations are unnatural, including “jobs number,” “on top of the list,” “reach popularity,” and “face crises.” These expressions sometimes make the intended trend less precise. Spelling errors such as “comparision” and “beegining” also reduce accuracy. Aim for standard chart language and accurate collocations—for example, sectors can “employ” a number of people, figures can “rise” or “fall,” and a sector can have the “highest” or “lowest” employment.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the reader can generally follow the sequence of changes. However, errors in sentence structure and verb forms occur in several places. For example, “the manufacturing is on top … then it is decrease” needs a more accurate verb construction, and “the retail starts … then it increase” has subject–verb agreement and tense problems. The opening phrase “between 1960 to 2020” also uses an incorrect preposition pattern. Capital letters are inconsistently used after commas, as in “Initially, In 1960.” These issues do not usually prevent understanding, but they limit control. Practise past-tense reporting and build accurate comparisons, such as “employment rose from … to …” and “the figure then declined.”

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