Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The line graph illustrates changes in the number of jobs available in four diffrent sectors of the US economy manufacturing, retail,agriculture and helathcare-over a sixty year period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, employment figures in the manufacturing and agriculture sectors experienced downward trends over the period, wheras the retail and healthcare sectors witnessed significant,sustained growth.

In 1960, maaufacturing was the dominanat employer, providing 15 million jobs. This figure rose to peak of 20 million by 1980 before declining steadiliy over the next four deacades to finish at 13 million in 2020. Similarly, agriculture started with 6 million jobs in 1960, dropped by half to 3 million by 1980, and continued a slow decline to end at a low of 2 million jobs in 2020.

Conversely, the service sector expanded sustainability. Retail employment grew from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980, reaching 16 million by 2020. Healthcare showed the most dramatic increase, starting as the smallest sector with just 2 million jobs in 1960, climbing sharply to 11 million in 2000, and ultimately reaching 14 to 16 million jobs by 2020 to tie with retail as leading employer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response selects the main trends and supports them with relevant figures. The overview clearly contrasts falling employment in manufacturing and agriculture with growth in retail and healthcare, and the manufacturing peak and agriculture’s decline are accurately described. The retail figures are also broadly correct, although the account omits its 15-million level in 2000. One factual imprecision occurs at the end: healthcare is given as “14 to 16 million” in 2020, whereas the chart indicates about 16 million; the range is unnecessarily uncertain. The comparison that healthcare and retail finish level is useful. To strengthen the report further, state the final healthcare figure precisely and include the key 2000 retail value to make the comparison across the period more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The information is organised effectively into an introduction, a clear overview, and two detail paragraphs that group declining and growing sectors. The progression is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Similarly” and “Conversely” help signal comparisons between trends. The final paragraph also brings the two expanding sectors together. Cohesion is not always fully polished, however: the opening list of sectors is crowded, and the final healthcare figure is expressed as a range, which weakens the precision of the concluding comparison. For a more controlled progression, use consistent punctuation in the introduction and organise the detail around comparable time points or explicitly compare the sectors’ 2020 totals.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of task-appropriate vocabulary, including “downward trends,” “peak,” “declining steadily,” “expanded,” and “climbing sharply.” These choices help describe movement and comparison without relying entirely on basic verbs. However, several spelling errors—such as “diffrent,” “helathcare,” “maaufacturing,” and “deacades”—show inconsistent control, and some word choices are inaccurate or awkward. “Expanded sustainability” does not express the intended trend; “expanded steadily” would be suitable. “Dominant employer” is understandable but less precise than “largest employer.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations would make the vocabulary more reliable and allow the stronger descriptive range to come through.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including a clear overview sentence and longer sentences with time clauses, such as “This figure rose to peak … before declining …”. Most relationships between events remain clear, and the writer handles past-tense descriptions consistently. Some grammatical and punctuation issues remain. In “rose to peak,” the article is missing; write “rose to a peak.” The opening sentence needs clearer punctuation around the list of sectors, and “reaching 16 million by 2020 to tie” makes the relationship between the final figure and comparison slightly awkward. The final healthcare figure also needs a more direct construction. More careful article use and sentence punctuation, alongside varied but controlled structures, would improve accuracy.

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