Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The line graph illustrates employment numbers in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail and Healthcare jobs increased substantially, Whereas Manufacturing and Agriculture sectors experienced a significant decrease in the number of employments.
In 1960, Retail sector had just over 5 million jobs compared to ar
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The opening identifies the chart’s subject and period, and the overview correctly notes that Retail and Healthcare rise while Manufacturing and Agriculture decline. However, the response stops before it can summarise the main features: the only specific comparison begins “In 1960, Retail sector had just over 5 million jobs compared to ar…”, and no later figures or turning points are reported. It therefore omits key information, including Manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and the convergence of Retail and Healthcare at about 16 million by 2020. The required minimum of 150 words is not met, leaving the task substantially incomplete. Develop the overview with the major rankings and changes, then support it with selected figures across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic, recognisable structure: an introduction is followed by an overview and the start of a detail paragraph. The sequence from identifying the graph to summarising broad trends is appropriate, and “Overall” signals the overview clearly. However, the response ends abruptly in the middle of a comparison (“compared to ar…”), so the reader cannot follow a complete account or see how the details relate to the overview. There are also too few developed ideas to demonstrate progression across the data. Complete the comparison and organise the body into clear groups—for example, rising sectors and declining sectors—using linking phrases to show contrasts and changes over time.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The response uses relevant chart vocabulary, including “line graph,” “employment numbers,” “sectors,” and “increased substantially.” These choices make the topic clear, and the sector names are used appropriately. However, the range is very limited because the response is so short, and some phrasing is imprecise: “number of employments” is not a natural way to describe job totals; use “number of jobs” or “employment levels.” “Retail sector” would be more natural as “the retail sector.” The unfinished phrase “compared to ar…” also prevents the comparison from being expressed. Build a wider set of accurate terms for trends and comparisons, such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “whereas,” and use them in complete sentences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The first sentence is a clear, correctly formed statement, and the overview uses a contrast between rising and falling sectors. This shows some control of basic sentence patterns. However, the sample is too brief to demonstrate a range of structures, and the final sentence is incomplete, ending at “compared to ar…”. There are also article and punctuation issues: write “the retail sector,” and use a lowercase “whereas” after the comma in the overview rather than capitalising it. The phrase “number of employments” is primarily a word-choice problem, but it also makes the sentence pattern awkward. Practise completing comparisons in full sentences and vary simple statements with accurate clauses using “while,” “whereas,” and “by 2020.”
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