Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph shows information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. On the x-axis there is mentioned years while on y-axis there is job in millions .It tells that in manufacturing sectors job was less in 1960 but it increased to peak in 1980 then it continue decreasing till 2020 . In retail sector from 1960 to 2020 jobs kept increasing. Increase was very sharp between 1960 and 2000 as from 6 millions to 15 millions but was less sharp 2000 to 2020 of about just one million . For agriculture sector, jobs was lowest initially, but it kept on increasing over years and in 2020 it increased to about 16 millions . In contrast in health care sector jobs decreased over years the most decrease was in 1960 to 1980 in next years to 2020 it remained almost constant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.5

The response identifies several broad movements, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and retail rising over the period, but major data are misreported in ways that undermine the summary. Agriculture did not increase to 16 million jobs: it declined from about 6 million to 2 million. Healthcare did not decrease or remain constant; it rose from about 2 million to 16 million. The response also lacks a clear, accurate overview comparing the sectors’ overall patterns and final positions. It is 136 words, below the required 150, and 15 words copied from the prompt were not counted. To improve, correct the series and add a concise overview before supporting it with key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a generally understandable sequence, moving from manufacturing to retail, agriculture and healthcare, and uses basic links such as “In contrast” and “but.” This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, it is presented as one continuous paragraph, with no distinct overview and detail sections, and the opening description of the axes does not help establish the main comparisons. Some transitions are awkward or unclear, particularly “in next years to 2020.” Organise the report into an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and grouped detail paragraphs. Use linking phrases to show meaningful contrasts, rather than simply listing sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate basic trends, with terms such as “peak,” “increased,” “decreasing,” and “sharp” helping describe change. However, the range is limited and some expressions are imprecise or repetitive, including repeated use of “jobs” and “kept increasing.” “Less sharp” is understandable but not a natural way to describe a slower rise, while “jobs was lowest” reflects an inaccurate word form. More precise trend language would make comparisons clearer, such as “reached a peak,” “declined steadily,” or “rose more gradually.” Also use standard forms such as “healthcare sector” consistently and avoid vague phrases like “over years.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including a contrast between the retail trend and its rate of growth. Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and punctuation are frequent enough to make the writing less controlled. Examples include “jobs was lowest,” “there is mentioned years,” and “in next years to 2020 it remained,” where sentence structure and grammatical forms are faulty. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent punctuation, as in “millions .It.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and article use, and separate ideas into complete sentences. A wider range of correctly formed comparisons would improve clarity.

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