Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

we have given a graph of jobs in four sectorsn of the US economy, from since 1960 to 2020. these four sectors of jobs we summarising one by one, his main feature and reporting from the graph which is given.

"Manufacturing" in the graph we see that, in 1960 manufacturing jobs is at the premium level of the gragh, which are 15m. in then 1960 to 1980 the jobs of manufacturing is become at more demanding, and 1980 the numbers of the jobs are increased, which are 20m. in 1980 to 2000 the jobs of jobs of manufacturing are decreased, in 2000 which are 17.5m, and similarly, in 2000 to 2020 the manufacturing jobs graph move at his direction, in 2020 which are 12.5m.

"Retail" in the grgh we see that, in 1960 the is at the discount zone which are 2.5m, after time by time increasing , in 1980 which are 10m. in 2000 which are 15m, and similar, it's increased in it's direction, in 2020 which are become 16m.

"Agriculture" in the gragh, the jobs of the agriculture is we at the direction of declining, like in 1960 the jobs are 6m around. in 1980 around 4m. in 2000 which are same 4m around. and 2020 again decline which are 2.5m.

"Healthcare" have also good, like in the 1960 at have the low level, which are 2m around. in the 1980 it's increased, which are become 5m. in the 2000 are also increased at 11m. and 2020 become the healthcare jobs in his all time high 16m.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report all four sectors and identify several broad trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, agriculture falling overall, and healthcare rising to its highest point in 2020. However, the response is mainly a sequence of figures rather than a clear summary of the most important features. There is no concise overview comparing the sectors, such as noting that manufacturing began highest while retail and healthcare rose to joint-highest levels by 2020. Some figures are inaccurate: retail starts at about 6 million, not 2.5 million, and manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. To strengthen the report, give an overview first, select key comparisons, and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic, understandable structure: each paragraph focuses on one sector, and the reader can generally follow the order of years within each account. This provides some organisation, but there is little overall progression from an overview to supporting details, and the sector-by-sector format becomes repetitive. Linking phrases such as “in 1980 to 2000” and “and similarly” are often awkward or unclear, while repeated openings (“in the graph we see”) do not help connect the comparisons. Add a separate overview paragraph, then group related trends—for example, the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together. Use clear time transitions and comparison words to make relationships between the series explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is sufficient to name the sectors and communicate basic movement, using terms such as “increased,” “declining,” and “all time high.” However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing data. “Premium level” and “discount zone” do not convey a graph’s highest or lowest value, while “more demanding” does not mean that the number of jobs rose. Repeated use of “jobs,” “increased,” and “which are” also makes the report less precise. Aim for standard chart language such as “stood at,” “rose to,” “fell to,” “peaked at,” and “remained stable.” Check spelling and word forms as well, including “graph” and “sectors,” so errors do not distract from the information.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to describe changes over time and include some longer sentences, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently make the wording difficult to follow. Examples include “in 1960 manufacturing jobs is at” and “the jobs of manufacturing is become,” where tense and subject–verb agreement are incorrect. Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “in 1960 the is at the discount zone,” and several sentences are joined with commas or fragments rather than complete clauses. Use past simple consistently for this historical data: “Manufacturing stood at 15 million in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while,” “before,” and “by.”

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