Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The linear representation illustrates the informtion related to the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. In 1960, the number of jobs for Manufacturing had 15 million. Moreover, it increased sharply to 20 million in 1980. But, there was a sharp drop of 7 million in 2020.In 1960, the number of job for retail had around 5 million. But, it increased sharply to 15 million in 2000. However, it slowly increased in following years. In 1960, the number of jobs for healthcare had around 3 millon. Moreover, there was a sharply inceased in the following years. In 1960, the number of job for agriculture had arund 5 million. Moreover, there was a sharp drop of 3 million in 1980. However, it was a almost same in 1980 to 2

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies several relevant trends, including manufacturing rising to 20 million in 1980 and agriculture declining, but it does not provide a clear overview of the main features. Important comparisons are missing: healthcare rises substantially to about 16 million by 2020, matching retail, while manufacturing falls after its peak. Some figures are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing falls by about 7 million from 1980 to 2020, not simply “a sharp drop of 7 million in 2020”; retail starts at about 6 million, and healthcare at about 2 million. The agriculture account is unfinished. The response is also 29 words below the 150-word minimum, limiting its coverage of the data. Develop a concise overview and report the key end-point comparisons accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a basic sector-by-sector order, so the reader can identify which data each sentence concerns. However, the progression is repetitive: several sections begin with “In 1960” and connect ideas with “Moreover” or “But,” without establishing an overall overview or grouping related trends. The final agriculture sentence is incomplete, ending with “2,” which leaves the account unfinished and disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is also absent, making the response read as one sequence of notes rather than a structured report. Organise the answer into an introduction, an overview, and one or two body paragraphs, and use comparisons to link sectors with similar or contrasting trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “sharp drop,” and “following years,” and the main topic remains understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “linear representation” for a line graph and “a sharply inceased.” Spelling errors—“informtion,” “millon,” “arund,” and “inceased”—are noticeable and reduce precision. Repeated use of “sharp” also makes the description less varied, while phrases such as “it was a almost same” are not natural English. Use precise trend language and check spelling and collocations; for example, describe a figure as “rose steadily” or “remained broadly stable” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response mainly uses short, simple statements and attempts some contrastive linking, but its grammatical range is limited. Errors occur in basic sentence patterns, including “the number of jobs for Manufacturing had 15 million,” where the figure should be expressed as a number of jobs “was” or “stood at” 15 million. There are also problems with singular and plural forms in “the number of job,” and the final clause, “it was a almost same in 1980 to 2,” is incomplete and difficult to interpret. Missing spaces after full stops, as in “2020.In,” also affect punctuation. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and complete comparative sentences before adding more complex structures.

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