Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of work opportunities in given four sectors economy in the US between the time period of 1960 and 2020.

Overall, In 1960 manufacturing has highest share jobs in millions as compared to other three sector. Moreover, agriculture has the least contribution in job during this time period 1960 to 2020. Whereas retail and healthcare jobs opportunity are increasing with time period.

Initially, manufacturing has the 15 millions job in 1960 it rises in 1980 and become 20 millions although it slightly fall down approximately 13 million jobs in 2020. Furthermore, In agriculture at 1960 there is only 7 millions jobs which gradually slump according to the time period and become 3 million in 2020. However, retail and healthcare are growing up begin with only 7 millions and 3 millions while it significantly escalate and reach at the same point in 2020 at close to 14 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing starts as the largest sector, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare grow. You also include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960 and 2 million in 2020, not 7 and 3; retail and healthcare finish at about 16 million each, rather than 14. The overview also misses the important shift by 2020, when retail and healthcare are joint largest, while manufacturing has fallen. Develop the comparisons more precisely and distinguish the different trajectories, especially retail’s steady rise from healthcare’s faster growth after 1980.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and the main sectors are grouped in a generally sensible way. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Moreover,” and “However” help signal relationships. At times, though, these links feel mechanical or do not clarify the comparison: “Whereas” begins a fragment-like overview statement, and the final sentence combines retail and healthcare without explaining their different rates of growth. The paragraphing is also limited, with the detailed trends crowded into one paragraph. Use clearer topic sentences and organise the details into meaningful comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture together, then the two growing sectors—while making each transition express the actual relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “illustrates,” “gradually,” “slightly,” and “significantly,” and the reader can understand the general trends. However, several phrases are unnatural or imprecise for describing a graph: “work opportunities,” “highest share jobs,” “slump,” and “growing up” do not fit the intended meanings well. “Escalate” is also an awkward choice for a rising number of jobs. These choices sometimes make the description less precise, even though the overall message remains understandable. Prefer standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “highest figure,” “declined,” and “increased,” and use “employment” or “jobs” consistently rather than switching to “contribution” or “opportunity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “Whereas” and a sentence beginning “although.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “manufacturing has highest share jobs,” which needs articles and a clearer noun phrase, and “it rises in 1980 and become 20 millions,” where the verb forms and number expression are not controlled. Capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent, as in “Overall, In” and “Furthermore, In.” Work on articles, subject–verb agreement, past-tense consistency for historical data, and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make your comparisons clearer without requiring more complicated structures.

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