Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020

Overall, manufacturing sector has the highest jobs among the other three sectors in 1960, while healthcare sector has the lowest jobs in 1960 which rose sharply over the time. By contrast, retail and agriculture started off with the same number of jobs in 1960 but agriculture jobs numbers declined until 1980 and remains stable till 2020.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector had 15 millions jobs which peaked at 20 millions in 1980 , afterwards number of jobs declined to approximatelay 13 millions in 2020. While in agriculture sector, it started with approximately 7 millions jobs in 1960 which fell dramatically around 3 millions in 1980 and kept flunctuating till 2020

However, healthcare and retail sector, number of jobs increased between 1960 and 2020. Healthcare jobs started with lowest number i.e around 3 millions in 1960 , it rose twice as it was started and peaked at approximately 17 millions. While retail sector started same numbers as for agriculture but it peaked same as heathcare number of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing begins as the largest sector, healthcare rises substantially, and agriculture declines. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and falling to about 13 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 7 million, and it falls to around 2 million by 2020 rather than fluctuating throughout. The account of retail is underdeveloped: it rises from 6 million to about 16 million, and by 2020 it is level with healthcare. Your overview is relevant, but it omits this important ending comparison and does not clearly summarise the full pattern for retail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and the broad grouping of manufacturing/agriculture and healthcare/retail is sensible. This gives the reader an overall route through the information. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the final paragraph, where the healthcare and retail trends are compressed into sentences joined by repeated “While”. Some links are also unclear: “it peaked same as healthcare number of jobs” does not specify the year or make the comparison precise. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each figure to the relevant sector and time period. More varied, accurate linking would make the organisation feel less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “peaked”, “declined”, “rose sharply” and “started off”, so the main trends are generally understandable. There is some attempt to vary descriptions rather than simply repeat “increased” and “decreased”. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “highest jobs”, “jobs numbers”, “kept fluctuating” and “rose twice as it was started”. Spelling errors, including “approximatelay”, “flunctuating” and “heathcare”, also reduce control. Aim for precise phrases such as “the number of jobs”, “remained stable” and “rose to approximately eight times its initial level”. Check spelling carefully, especially for key sector names and trend vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction are common enough to make some comparisons unclear. For example, “manufacturing sector has the highest jobs” needs an article and a more suitable noun phrase, while “agriculture jobs numbers declined … and remains stable” shifts awkwardly between plural and singular agreement and tense. Several sentences also lack clear grammatical connections, as in “Healthcare jobs started with lowest number i.e around 3 millions … it rose twice as it was started”. Practise building accurate comparison sentences with consistent past-tense verbs and clear subjects; use full stops to separate ideas when a sentence becomes difficult to control.

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