Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graphs below demonstrate the number of jobs in manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.

At a cursory glance, manufacturing sector offers the highest number of jobs in the US in 1960, followed by retail and healthcare. Meanwhile, agriculture offers the least number of jobs in the same year. By 2020, number of jobs in manufacturing drops below retail and healthcare. Meanwhile, employment in the agricultural sector hit its lowest point by 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing sector offered 15 million jobs, and this figure continued to rise, reaching a peak of 2020 million in 1980. However, after 1980, there is a steep decline and by 2020 the figures fall just below 15 million. On the other other hand, number of jobs in retail and healthcare continued to increase to reach more than 15 million jobs, by the end of 2020.

While both retail and agriculture starting off with approximately 6 million there was a steep decline in the number of jobs and by 2020 it was approximately just 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns, including manufacturing’s initial lead, its later decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaks at 20 million jobs in 1980, not “2020 million,” and the overview says retail and healthcare both exceed 15 million by 2020 without distinguishing their final values. The final paragraph also incorrectly links agriculture’s steep decline to retail; retail rises from about 6 to 16 million, while agriculture falls to about 2 million. The overview is relevant, but the data selection and comparisons are only partly reliable. To strengthen the response, report each sector’s trend separately and check that every figure and comparison matches the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the data. Its use of time markers such as “In 1960,” “By 2020,” and “after 1980” helps readers follow the period. However, the final paragraph combines retail and agriculture even though their trends move in opposite directions, making the comparison confusing. “Meanwhile” is also repeated, and “On the other other hand” is an inaccurate, distracting transition. Organise the body by contrasting related trends—for example, manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare—and use linking phrases only where they clarify the relationship between figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “steep decline,” “continued to increase,” and “employment.” These choices help describe movement in the graph, although some phrasing is imprecise or unnatural. “Offers the highest number of jobs” is less suitable for reporting historical data than “had the most jobs,” while “hit its lowest point” is informal for an academic summary. “At a cursory glance” is also unnecessarily elaborate and does not add analytical meaning. Aim for precise trend language and natural collocations, and avoid repeating “number of jobs” when terms such as “employment” or “the figure” are clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “While” and “However,” and most of the meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors are present, though: “While both retail and agriculture starting off” lacks a finite verb, and “the number of jobs … drops” shifts tense within a past-period report. Articles are also missing in phrases such as “manufacturing sector” and “by the end of 2020.” The duplicated “other” in “On the other other hand” is a punctuation/editing slip. Use past tense consistently for the historical data, check that subordinate clauses have a main clause, and review articles before singular sector nouns.

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