Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information on number of employment in four segments of economy Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in the United States between 1960 to 2020.The number are in the millions.

Overall there is decline in manufacturing on the other hand Healthcare rose up rapidly.Retail also show upward trend and Agriculture reduce by the time.

In 1960 the Manufacturing is at 15 million and rose up to 20 million by 1980 but in next 40 years it starts downward trend and ends up at 12 million in 2020.In the beginning the Retail is at the 5 million and rise up dramatically and reached 15 million in 2000 and then start a little bit slow upward trend ending with 16 to 17 millions in 2020.

Agriculture is the only sector which follows downward trend starting from 5 million in beginning and in the end its reached 2 million.Healthcare also rose up rapidly starting from 2 million in 1960 and grow significantly and reached 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing declines after peaking, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. The response also includes relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020. However, some details are inaccurate: retail begins at about 6 million, not 5, and agriculture is also about 6 million initially. Manufacturing ends at approximately 13 million rather than 12. The overview could be more informative by noting that manufacturing was the largest sector in 1980, while retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million in 2020. Some trends are reported clearly, but the comparisons and coverage of key stages are not equally developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. This makes the main information easy to locate, and phrases such as “In 1960” and “by 1980” help establish a timeline. However, some connections are mechanical or awkward, particularly “Overall there is decline in manufacturing on the other hand Healthcare rose up rapidly.” The final two sectors are grouped together, but their comparison is not fully developed, and the paragraph transitions could be smoother. Use linking expressions more selectively and organise details around clear comparisons—for example, contrast the declining manufacturing and agriculture figures with the growth in retail and healthcare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “downward trend,” “rose,” “reached,” and “grow significantly.” These choices generally communicate the graph’s main movements. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “number of employment,” “segments of economy,” “rose up,” and “starts downward trend.” There is also repetition of basic trend language, and “a little bit slow upward trend” is not a precise description of retail’s continued rise. Choose standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “economic sectors,” “increased,” and “declined,” and vary them with accurate terms like “peaked,” “remained stable,” or “rose steadily” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a contrast between manufacturing and healthcare and a sentence tracing retail’s changes over time. The meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “The number are” has subject–verb disagreement, while “between 1960 to 2020” uses the wrong preposition pattern. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention: “In the beginning the Retail is at the 5 million” is awkwardly formed, and several sentences run together without a space after the full stop. Keep verb tenses consistently in the past when reporting historical data, check singular and plural agreement, and divide long descriptions into correctly punctuated sentences.

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