Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four different industries of the economy in the US over a period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was the most dominant sector in 1960. Retail and healthcare sectors faced a significant increase, while manufacturing and healthcare industries decreased marginally at the end of 60 years.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector, which provided the highest number of jobs stood at 15 million. It increased significantly from 15 to 20 millions in the next two decades and then dropped steadily to around 13 millions jobs in 2020. In contrast, the agriculture sector started at over 5 million jobs in 1960. It declined slightly and went down to almost 2.5 million jobs in 2020 after remaining plateau to 3 million between 1980 and 2000.

On the other hand, the retail and healthcare sectors were at about 6 million and 2.5 million in 1960. Both sectors rose significantly and reached to the same value of over 15 million jobs at the end of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response identifies the main patterns: manufacturing begins as the largest sector, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare grow. It also includes relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising from 15 to 20 million before falling to about 13 million. However, the overview contains a factual inconsistency: it says healthcare decreased marginally at the end, although healthcare rises throughout to around 16 million. The final comparison that retail and healthcare reach the same level is useful, but the account could better highlight that retail overtakes manufacturing by 2020 and healthcare catches up with retail. Some trends are reported clearly, while these key comparisons and the overview are not fully accurate or developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to paragraphs describing manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare. This makes the information easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “In contrast” and “On the other hand” help signal comparisons. The progression is generally logical, though the final paragraph groups two rising sectors without explaining their different trajectories: retail grows steadily, while healthcare rises more sharply from a lower starting point. The overview’s inaccurate statement about healthcare also disrupts the reader’s understanding of the sequence. To strengthen cohesion further, use comparisons that connect the sectors directly and ensure each paragraph develops one clear comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased significantly,” “dropped steadily,” “declined,” and “plateau.” These choices help communicate the main movements, and the response avoids excessive repetition. Some collocations and expressions are imprecise, however: “the data about the number of jobs” is less natural than “the number of jobs,” and “reached to the same value” is not idiomatic. “Most dominant” is also redundant, while “industries” is less precise than “sectors” in this context. Aim for accurate, natural trend language and use terms consistently; for example, describe the sectors as rising, falling, remaining stable, or converging.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “the manufacturing sector, which provided the highest number of jobs,” and a time clause describing the plateau. Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. In “the manufacturing sector … stood at 15 million,” the inserted clause needs clearer punctuation, and “20 millions” and “13 millions jobs” use an incorrect plural form after a number. The phrase “after remaining plateau” also has an incorrect grammatical construction; use “after remaining stable” or “after plateauing.” In addition, “reached to” should be “reached.” More consistent control of number forms, verb patterns, and punctuation would improve accuracy.

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