Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

This line graph illustrates the information about the rate of employment in the four economic sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture industry declined over the period. Whereas, the number of people employed in retail and healthcare sector rose sharply as time passed.

To begin with, there were 15 million jobs available in manufacturing sector in America in 1960. It surged to 20 million after two decades. After that, it started falling at a lower rate, and finally stood at approximately 13 million by 2020. Meanwhile, around 6 million people were employed both in agriculture and retail sector in 1980. While the number of workforce in agriculture began to fall at constant speed, finally reached at almost 3 million by 2020. By contrast, employment rate started to rise steadily until reaching 15 million jobs in 2000. It was followed by minor increase i.e. approximately 1 million more jobs were added by 2020.

Furthermore, the same pattern was followed by healthcare industry of US. It started rising at a regular pace, and finally stood at almost 21 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare grow. The manufacturing figures and retail’s rise to about 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020 are reported well. However, there are important inaccuracies: agriculture is about 2 million in 2020, not almost 3 million, and healthcare ends at about 16 million, not 21 million. The statement that agriculture fell at a “constant speed” also overlooks its flat level between 1980 and 2000. The overview is relevant, but the account of healthcare and agriculture is less precise than the manufacturing and retail descriptions. More accurate endpoint comparisons and clearer coverage of the main trends would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details, and it groups the sectors in a generally understandable way. Linking expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “By contrast,” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships between trends. However, some connections are unclear: “Meanwhile, around 6 million people were employed both in agriculture and retail sector in 1980” is confusing because both sectors were at about 6 million in 1960, not 1980. The later use of “It” in “It was followed by minor increase” also makes the reference less precise. The final paragraph isolates healthcare without comparing its endpoint with retail, despite both reaching about 16 million. Clearer referencing and more deliberate grouping would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “surged,” “declined,” “rose sharply,” and “steadily,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “stood at” and “employment rate.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this chart: “rate of employment” and “employment rate” suggest a proportion rather than a number of jobs, while “number of workforce” is not a natural collocation. “Falling at a lower rate” is also imprecise when describing the manufacturing trend. These choices do not prevent understanding, but more exact vocabulary for quantities and changes would make the report more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while” and “whereas,” and most of the trends remain understandable. Some grammatical errors persist. For example, “Whereas, the number…” is an incomplete sentence, and “While the number … began to fall …, finally reached” lacks a clear subject for the second verb. There are also article and agreement issues in “manufacturing and agriculture industry” and “retail and healthcare sector,” where the plural sectors need clearer grammatical framing. The sentence beginning “It was followed by minor increase” also needs an article. Greater control of sentence boundaries, clause structure, and articles would make the complex sentences more accurate.

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