Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employment sector at the beginning of the period and faced a declined gradually. The number of jobs in retail and healthcare sector increased with time while agricultral sector kept facing a decline and ranked the lowest in 2020.

In 1960, manufacturing was the highest employment sector with almost 15 million jobs and it peaked in 1980 with 20 million jobs before falling to around 17 million in 2000 and approximately 13 million in 2020. In 1960 retail was at its lowest with around 6 million jobs which kept on increasing over the period. The figures rose to about 10 million in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and peaked in 2020 with around 16 million jobs.

Agriculture sector was at its highest in 1960 with almost 6 million jobs which declined in 1980 and reached around 3 million. It kept on facing downfall and reached around 2 million jobs in 2020. Compared to healthcare sector which was at its lowest in 1960 increased dramatically with 5 million jobs in 1980, around 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. By 2020 retail and healthcare ranked the highest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response selects the main trends and supports them with relevant figures: manufacturing rises to 20 million before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls to about 2 million. The overview clearly identifies manufacturing as the largest sector initially and retail and healthcare as joint leaders by 2020. Most reported values match the chart. One detail is slightly overstated: agriculture falls to around 3 million by 1980 and remains at roughly that level in 2000, so saying it “kept on facing downfall” misses this plateau. The comparison between healthcare and agriculture is also less fully developed than the sector-by-sector descriptions. Overall, the key features are addressed and supported, though a little more precision in describing stages would strengthen the account.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a summary of the main trends, and two detail paragraphs grouping manufacturing with retail and agriculture with healthcare. The sequence through the four years is easy to follow, and transitions such as “before,” “while,” and “Compared to” help connect information. This gives the report a coherent progression. However, some linking is mechanical or imprecise: “Compared to healthcare sector which was at its lowest in 1960 increased dramatically” does not form a clear comparison, and “It kept on facing downfall” has an unclear reference. The final sentence repeats the overview rather than adding a useful comparison. Clearer referencing and more natural links between contrasting series would make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for describing a line graph, with useful terms such as “peaked,” “declined,” “increased,” and “ranked the highest.” The writer also varies some expressions for quantities, including “almost,” “around,” and “approximately.” However, several word-choice and collocation problems limit precision: “faced a declined gradually” is not idiomatic, “kept on facing downfall” is awkward, and “at its lowest” is less suitable than describing the starting figure. There is also a spelling error in “agricultral.” Repeated use of “jobs” and “increased” makes parts of the report less varied. Aim for accurate trend language and natural collocations, while retaining the clear, task-appropriate vocabulary already used.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and more complex forms, including time clauses with “before” and a relative clause in “which was at its lowest in 1960.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends, and the past tense is generally appropriate for the period shown. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “manufacturing … faced a declined gradually,” the verb phrase is incorrectly formed; “the number … increased with time” also needs clearer singular agreement with its subject. The sentence beginning “Compared to healthcare sector” lacks a complete, well-formed main clause, and articles are missing in phrases such as “in four sectors of economy” and “healthcare sector.” These errors rarely prevent understanding, but more consistent control of clauses, articles, and verb forms would improve accuracy.

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