Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates who participated in in job in four sector of economy in USA namely manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Health care over a period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, a striking feature that manufacturing was the most popular economy.Whereas, agriculture was the least popular in economy at the end of time.

Looking at the details, in 1960 manufacturing was grow in 20 in 2000 it was drop in 18 it was again decline 12 in 2020 less economy was use in manufacturing. Meanwhile, in 1960 agriculture was gradually rose in 7 but 2000 it was not rise it was remain unchanged in 2020 it was again down at the end of te survey.

On the other hand, in 1960 retail was surgey were again climb in 2000 it was also steadlity in 2020 . However, healthcare in 1960 it was increase a little bit .In 2020 healthcare economy was ueda in USA.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts an overview, noting manufacturing as prominent and agriculture as the smallest by the end. However, the overview is not accurate across the period: manufacturing peaked in 1980, rather than remaining the most popular throughout, and retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. Several figures and trends are misreported or too vague. For example, manufacturing was about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, not a rise to 20 in 2000; agriculture fell from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than rising to 7. Retail and healthcare are not described with usable figures. To improve, select the main comparisons and report the key changes accurately and clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The phrases “Overall,” “Looking at the details,” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to guide the reader, and the sectors are grouped into comparisons. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is difficult to follow because dates, trends, and comparisons are not consistently connected. The retail sentence, for instance, gives no clear sequence of values, while the healthcare point is separated by an abrupt “However.” Some linking expressions are also used without a clear contrast. Organise each sector’s figures chronologically and use simple, accurate links such as “by 1980” and “in contrast” to make the relationships explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “line graph,” “sector,” “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” and “unchanged,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear. Phrases such as “participated in in job,” “most popular economy,” “was surgey,” and “was ueda” are not appropriate descriptions of employment trends. Repetition of “rise,” “increase,” and “down” also limits precision. Use standard trend language and collocations, such as “the number of jobs rose,” “employment declined,” and “remained stable.” Check spelling and word forms carefully, especially for key terms that carry the graph’s meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few different sentence forms, including an overview clause beginning “Whereas” and time-based statements, but control is weak and errors frequently obscure the intended comparisons. Examples include “manufacturing was grow in 20,” “it was drop in 18,” and “it was remain unchanged,” where verb forms and sentence construction are faulty. The opening also has problems with articles, plurals, and prepositions: “in job in four sector of economy.” Several sentences are fragments or lack a clear subject–verb structure, particularly the retail and healthcare descriptions. Build accurate simple sentences first, using past-tense verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” and “remained,” then add a small number of well-controlled complex sentences.

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