Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sector of the economy in the United States of America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall,The jobs in retail and healthcare sectors experienced a upward trend throughout the period while the other two jobs sectors are showed a downward trend at the end of the period.

In 1960 the number of job in manufacturing was 15 millions.Which was the highest segments among all the sectors.It experienced a significent growth in 1980 and reach 20 millions.However it decline slightly in 2000 and the number was approximately 17 millions and it decline continuously at the end of the period and reached almost 13 millions.Agriculture,s jobs was almost 6 millions at the begenning of the period it followed a downward trend and hit the lowest point(2 millions) at the end of the period in 2020.

In 1960 the numbers of jobs of retail and healthcare was approximately 6 and 2 millions .Both are experienced upward trends and reached almost 16 millions together at the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after peaking. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture ending at about 2 million. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing does not decline throughout, and agriculture is broadly stable between 1980 and 2000. The final comparison also says retail and healthcare both reached “almost 16 millions together,” which obscures that they each reached about 16 million, after following different trajectories. To strengthen the report, make the overview more exact and compare the sectors’ relative positions at key dates, especially the convergence of retail and healthcare by 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the data. The sequence from manufacturing and agriculture to retail and healthcare is easy to follow, and time markers such as “In 1960,” “in 1980,” and “at the end of the period” help orient the reader. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, however, with repeated use of “and” and “it,” and transitions such as “However” are not consistently separated from the preceding sentence. The final paragraph combines two sectors but gives little detail about their different rates of growth. Use clearer sentence boundaries and more varied comparisons, such as contrasting healthcare’s faster rise with retail’s steadier increase.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” “significant growth,” and “reached,” so the main patterns are generally understandable. However, several word choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “highest segments,” “the other two jobs sectors,” and “Both are experienced upward trends.” Spelling errors in “signific ent” and “beg enning” also reduce precision. Some expressions are repeated, particularly “number of jobs” and “trend.” Aim for accurate collocations and forms, and use a wider set of reporting verbs and comparison phrases. For example, describe manufacturing as “the highest figure” and say that retail and healthcare “both rose,” rather than using the less natural phrasing in the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentences, and the reader can usually understand the intended trends. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward. Examples include “four sector,” “a upward trend,” “the other two jobs sectors are showed,” and “Both are experienced.” Several clauses are joined with full stops in ways that leave fragments, as in “15 millions. Which was the highest segments,” while missing spaces after punctuation further disrupt readability. Practise forming complete sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, and check subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms. More accurate control of these basics would make your comparisons clearer.

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