Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The line graph provides information in four sector's of financial system related to occupation in US over a period between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear that healthcare sector is considerably increased over a period.Whereas , manufacturing showed a gradually downward trend.

Looking first at

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the chart’s subject and attempts an overview, noting that healthcare increased and manufacturing declined. However, the overview is only partly accurate: manufacturing rose from about 15 million jobs in 1960 to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling, rather than showing a downward trend throughout. The response gives no figures or comparisons for any of the four sectors, and it does not report the important rise in retail or the decline in agriculture. It also stops mid-sentence at “Looking first at,” leaving the task largely incomplete. At 46 words, it does not meet the 150-word minimum. To improve, complete the summary with key figures, trends and comparisons across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview, and “Overall” signals a shift to the main features. This gives the short text a recognisable beginning. However, the final fragment, “Looking first at,” has no continuation, so the information does not progress into a developed description. The contrast marker “Whereas” is also used as though it begins a complete sentence, which interrupts the flow. Because there are no body paragraphs or linked comparisons, the reader cannot follow a full account of the graph. Build a clear sequence: introduction, overview, then grouped details, using linking phrases to connect trends rather than leaving a transition unfinished.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “line graph,” “sector,” “healthcare,” “manufacturing,” and “downward trend,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this chart. “Financial system” does not describe the four economic sectors, and “occupation” is not the same as the number of jobs. The phrase “healthcare sector is considerably increased” is also an awkward collocation and word form. The limited vocabulary partly reflects the very short response, but it does not yet show enough range to describe changes and comparisons precisely. Use terms such as “employment,” “job numbers,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable” accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex contrast with “Overall … Whereas,” and the opening sentence communicates the general topic. However, grammatical control is uneven. In “healthcare sector is considerably increased,” the verb construction is incorrect for describing a trend; use “the number of healthcare jobs increased considerably.” The phrase “over a period.Whereas” has faulty sentence punctuation, and “Whereas, manufacturing showed…” is not a complete independent sentence in this form. The unfinished “Looking first at” also leaves a sentence incomplete. The short sample offers little evidence of varied, accurate sentence structures. Practise complete sentences with accurate past-tense verbs, articles and punctuation, then connect contrasting trends within a correctly formed sentence.

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