Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates multiple jobs in four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020 in the USA.

Overall, In past years, Manufacturing field was playing an important role in economy for the US since 1960, in starting it was approximately 15 miliion than it platued around 1980, but unfortunately it has been declined by 2020 and came near to 12 million jobs. Therfore, Retail was also so down by 1960, it was approximately 6 million, but by changes over year it never decreased till 2020 it kept increasing.

However, Agriculture was the sector which continously went diminishing by the different years. Healthcare was the field which was at the lowest point in early years, it was having around 3 million jobs and not giving a proper support to US, but it started rising by 1960 and then peaked over all 4 sectors which was an epic change.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise and later decline, agriculture’s fall, and growth in retail and healthcare. However, the account is incomplete and some key comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. Manufacturing peaked at about 20 million in 1980, but you say it “platued” there; retail rose from about 6 to 16 million, while healthcare climbed from about 2 to 16 million and tied retail by 2020. The claim that healthcare “peaked over all 4 sectors” is not supported: it only matched retail, while manufacturing was higher in 1980. The overview also lacks a clear summary of the final ranking. The response is two words below the required minimum. Add accurate comparisons and a concise overview of the main changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an opening, an overview-like paragraph and a final paragraph covering agriculture and healthcare. This gives the reader some organisation, and contrast markers such as “However” help signal a change of focus. Nevertheless, the progression is difficult to follow because several trends are combined in long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the manufacturing and retail discussion is joined by “Therefore” even though the relationship between them is not clear, and the healthcare sentence moves from its early level to its later peak without specifying the years. Use one paragraph for the overview and separate paragraphs for related trends, with clearer links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declined,” “increasing,” “diminishing” and “peaked,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to interpret. “Multiple jobs” is not a natural way to describe the number of jobs, while “playing an important role,” “so down” and “not giving a proper support” do not precisely describe chart data. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “miliion,” “platued” and “Therfore.” Aim for concise, standard chart language and check spelling carefully; precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “reached” and “remained stable” would make the trends clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the reader can generally identify the sectors being discussed. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences, and errors in sentence boundaries, tense and clause structure sometimes obscure the intended meaning. For instance, “Overall, In past years, Manufacturing field was playing…” has awkward punctuation and an unclear time frame, while “it started rising by 1960” does not express the intended later increase clearly. The sentence beginning “Healthcare was the field…” also joins several ideas without a clear grammatical structure. Use past simple consistently for the historical data, and build shorter sentences around one trend at a time. Check capitalisation after full stops and use complete, clearly punctuated clauses.

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