Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

This graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economoy in the US from 1960 till 2020. The four sectors are Manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

Overall, the diagram shows decline in jobs in manufacturing sectors in last decades. However; retail and health care sectors are the only sectors out of four which rose overall from 1960 to 2020 and agriculture sector have the least number of jobs from 1960 to 2020.

Firstly, there were 15 million jobs in manufacturing sector in 1960, which started to increase and touched its peak in 1980 with 20 million jobs. However; from 1980 to 2020 number of jobs in manufacturing sector fell with 12.5 million in 2020 whereas agriculture sector had 6 million jobs in 1960 which declined in 2020 to 2 million jobs.

On the other hand, retail and healthcare sector had less than 10 million jobs in 1960 but it increased very quickly and in 1980 healthcare sector surpass the number of jobs as compare to agriculture, Moreover; in 2020 both sectors, retail and healthcare had 16 million number of jobs. However; manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs in 1980.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture remains the smallest sector by the end. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing’s 15 million jobs in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and the two rising sectors reaching about 16 million in 2020. This covers the task well, with some features reported clearly. However, the overview says manufacturing declined “in last decades” without noting its initial rise, and the account of retail and healthcare gives little detail about their different trajectories. The claim that healthcare surpassed agriculture in 1980 is true but not a particularly useful comparison. More precise reporting of the 2000 figures and the crossover in relative rankings would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the sectors. This gives the reader a coherent route through the information, and contrasts such as “However” and “On the other hand” help signal changes in direction. At times, though, linking is mechanical or awkward. “However” is repeated several times, and the final paragraph’s “Moreover” does not clearly connect the comparison that follows. The sentence beginning “On the other hand” combines several points—early values, rapid growth, a 1980 comparison, and the 2020 endpoint—so the progression is not always easy to follow. Use clearer sequencing and divide comparisons into more focused sentences, while ensuring each linking phrase expresses the relationship intended.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “peak,” “declined,” “rose overall,” and “number of jobs,” so the main trends are generally understandable. There is also some attempt to vary wording rather than simply repeat “increased.” However, the range and control are uneven: phrases such as “illustrates about the number,” “touched its peak,” and “fell with 12.5 million” are unnatural or imprecise in this context. “Economoy” is misspelled, and “health care” is written inconsistently with “healthcare.” Some expressions, including “number of jobs as compare to agriculture,” make the comparison less clear. Aim for accurate collocations such as “shows the number of,” “reached a peak of,” and “fell to,” and check spelling and consistency.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “which” and contrasts introduced by “whereas” and “however.” Most of the intended meaning can be followed, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “agriculture sector have” has subject–verb disagreement, “healthcare sector surpass” needs a past-tense verb, and “both sectors … had 16 million number of jobs” has an inaccurate noun construction. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent in phrases such as “in manufacturing sector” and “retail and healthcare sector.” Punctuation around “However” and “Moreover” is sometimes faulty, and the long final sentence is difficult to control. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, agreement, and article use, and separate complex comparisons into shorter sentences.

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