Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph provides employment data for four sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020. A declining trend is observed in the manufacturing and agriculture sectors whereas retail and healthcare have shown the opposite.

In manufacturing, there were 15 million jobs in 1960. This number increased to 20 million in the next twenty years till 1980 and henceforth showed a decrease in the number. It fell down to approximately 12.5 million in 2020. In agriculture the number was nearly 6 million in 1960 which gradually decreased to a little less than 2.5 million in 2020. It observed it's sharpest decline between 1960 and 1980 where it fell by nearly 3 million.

Healthcare sector showed the most bullish trend among all four. It started slightly above 2 million in 1960 and rose to almost 16 million in 2020 increasing by almost eight times. Retail sector also displayed an upward trend starting at nearly 6 million and rising to almost the same figure as healthcare at 16 million.

Overall, from the graph a steady decline of jobs in manufacturing and agriculture sectors was observed whereas the same number increased for retail and healthcare sectors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response identifies the main contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. It also selects useful figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s growth from just over 2 million to about 16 million. The agriculture decline and its steepest period are also reported appropriately. This gives the account a clear overview and relevant support. However, some key comparisons are less fully developed: retail’s rise through 1980 and 2000 is not described, and the final figures show retail and healthcare level at approximately 16 million, a notable endpoint comparison that could be stated more explicitly. The overview is repeated at the end rather than extended with a sharper summary of the sectors’ relative positions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a clear sequence: an introduction and overview, followed by manufacturing and agriculture, then healthcare and retail, and a concluding summary. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “whereas,” “in the next twenty years,” and “Overall” help connect the information, and the sector-based paragraphs are appropriate. Some cohesion is less effective because the final paragraph largely repeats the opening overview instead of adding a distinct concluding comparison. In addition, “henceforth” is an awkward link for describing the period after 1980, and “the same number increased” has an unclear reference. More direct transitions and clearer references between figures would make the progression smoother and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “declining trend,” “gradually decreased,” “sharpest decline,” and “upward trend.” These choices communicate the graph’s main movements, and the writer attempts less common language. However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural in this context: “bullish trend” is more associated with financial markets, while “fell down” and “showed a decrease in the number” are less concise than standard graph-reporting language. “It observed it’s sharpest decline” also uses an unsuitable verb and contains a spelling error in “it’s.” Aim for precise collocations such as “rose steadily,” “fell to,” and “experienced its steepest decline.” This would improve naturalness and precision while retaining the useful range already shown.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and more complex forms, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and a relative clause in “where it fell by nearly 3 million.” Most sentences convey the intended trends clearly, and the past tense is generally appropriate for the historical data. Some grammatical errors remain. In “It observed it’s sharpest decline,” the pronoun reference and possessive form are incorrect; use “It experienced its sharpest decline.” The phrase “in the next twenty years till 1980” is awkwardly constructed, and “the same number increased” lacks a clear grammatical reference. The final sentence also repeats the overview in a cumbersome structure. More consistent control of pronouns, possessives, and sentence phrasing would strengthen accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.