Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates data regarding number of jobs in four aspects of economy namely manufacture, retail , agriculture and healthcare over a time period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020.

Overall,the figures for manufacturing jobs declined the most whereas retail and healthcare jobs rose significantly. nervertheless, agriculture jobs maintained a constant figure.

from 1960 to 2000, manufacturing jobs peaked the most and reached around 20 million figures which then again dropped to 15 million in the following year. In sharp contrast to this, Agriculture jobs declined significantly from 5 to 2.5 millions. however , health and retail jobs soared gradually and reached to 10 and 15 million respectively.

From 2000 to 2020, manufacturing jobs declined steeply around 12 million jos. whereas the figure for retail and healthcare jobs reached to 15 millions, which was highest figure noticed in the whole survey. moreover, Agriculture jobs maintained a figure of 2.5 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad contrast between manufacturing’s decline and growth in retail and healthcare, and you include an overview. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980, not during 1960–2000 as a whole, and falls to about 13 million by 2020 rather than 12 million. Agriculture declines from around 6 million in 1960 to 2 million in 2020; it does not remain constant across the period. The overview therefore misrepresents this trend. You also omit the important comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020. Select the main turning points and report the figures consistently to make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs covering successive periods. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information, and contrasts such as “In sharp contrast” help signal relationships. To show more flexible control, make the grouping of trends clearer rather than relying mainly on the time divisions. Some links are awkward or mechanical, including repeated “whereas” and “moreover,” and punctuation around transitions is inconsistent. The phrase “which then again dropped” also makes the sequence harder to follow. Use clear topic sentences and connect each comparison directly to the relevant years; this would strengthen progression and make the organisation feel less formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “declined,” “soared,” “peaked,” and “in sharp contrast,” which helps describe movement and comparison. Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, however: “four aspects of economy” is imprecise, “manufacture” is not the correct sector label here, and “maintained a constant figure” does not describe agriculture’s overall decline. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “nervertheless” and “jos,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for precise chart language and natural collocations, and check spelling carefully. Repeating “figure” and “jobs” can also be reduced by using terms such as “employment” or “the total.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “whereas” and “which,” and the main meaning is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in articles, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “regarding number of jobs” needs an article, while “15 million figures” and “2.5 millions” use incorrect number forms. In “which then again dropped,” the reference is unclear, and “reached to” uses an unnecessary preposition. Capitalisation and spacing after full stops are also inconsistent. Review these patterns and build more accurate comparisons, such as “the figure fell to…” and “jobs rose to…”.

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