Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph demonstrates the number of jobs in millions 4 different categories such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare showed steady increase in jobs in millions over the 60 years. In contrast there was a significant decrement in number of works in manufacturing except in the first few years showing a sharp increment.

In the first 20 years (1960 to 1980), number of jobs in millions was increasing linearly across manufacturing (15 million to 20 million), healthcare (from less than 5 million to 5 million) and retail (from above 5 million to 10 million) while agriculture was decreasing from above 5 million to about 3.5 million.

The numbers of manufaturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 however the numbers droped to less than 15 million in 2020. Conversely, the numbers of retail and healthcare jobs were increasing dramatically and they both reached at approximately 16 million in 2020. Agriculture recorded a substantial drop over the first 20 years. It continued decreasing and recorded less than 2.5 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines, and you report manufacturing’s peak in 1980 followed by a fall. The key figures are generally grounded in the graph, including manufacturing at 15 to 20 million and the two rising sectors reaching about 16 million by 2020. This gives the response a clear overview and relevant comparisons. However, the overview says manufacturing had a “significant decrement” without clearly stating its overall fall from 15 to 13 million, and “steady increase” oversimplifies healthcare’s changing rate of growth. Some details are also imprecise: agriculture is about 3 million in 1980, not 3.5, and about 2 million in 2020. More precise reporting and a fuller comparison of the final rankings would strengthen the account.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction, an overview, a comparison of the first period, and then later trends. This makes the main development easy to follow, and transitions such as “In contrast” and “Conversely” help signal comparisons. The organisation is coherent overall, but some linking and reference choices are mechanical or unclear. For example, “except in the first few years” does not accurately specify the period being contrasted, and “The numbers” is repeated without always making the sector reference smooth. The final paragraph also combines manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture in a way that could be more systematically grouped. Use clearer time-based progression and vary references to the sectors to make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “peaked,” “recorded,” “substantial drop,” and “approximately,” and the reader can understand the main trends. However, several word choices and collocations are noticeably inaccurate or unnatural, limiting precision. “Decrement” is not a natural choice for a downward trend; “decline” or “fall” is more appropriate. “Number of works” should be “number of jobs,” while “increasing linearly” is not suitable unless the graph demonstrates a constant rate. There are also spelling errors in “manufaturing” and “droped,” and “reached at” is an incorrect phrase. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than formal-sounding words, and proofread spelling carefully. This would make the vocabulary more flexible and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including contrast clauses (“while agriculture was decreasing”) and a relative time phrase (“over the first 20 years”). Most sentences communicate the intended trends, but some grammatical errors remain. Articles and sentence structure are inconsistent in phrases such as “In the first 20 years … number of jobs” and “the numbers of retail and healthcare jobs.” The construction “they both reached at approximately 16 million” needs no “at,” and “the numbers droped” has an incorrect verb form. There are also awkward tense and agreement choices in “Overall, retail and healthcare showed steady increase.” Use consistent past-tense reporting, check singular/plural agreement, and build comparisons with complete, parallel sentence structures. Greater accuracy across these patterns would improve control.

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