Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides data about the count of jobs in foure different feilds of the economy in the us from the 1960 to 220.

overall, it is lucid that individuals more interested in healthcare field, it showed upward trend throughout the period. While Agriculture category show downward pattern at end of the period. Although, manufacturing peaked in 1980.

It can be seen from line chart that the number of jobs in manufacturing field was about 15 millions in 1960, then it sharply rose to 20 millios jobs in 1980. After that, it decreased steadily, throughout the period, and hitting low of approximately 14 milions jobs in 2020. However, the count of agriculture sector jobs was around 6 millions jobs in 1960, and it gradually dropped to 3 millions jobs in 2020.

In contrast, the number of retail sector and healthcare were nearly 6 millions and 2 millions jobs in 1960. Then, it rapidly grew to 15 millions job in 2000. After that, it slightly increased to 16 millions job in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important features: manufacturing reaches its high point in 1980, healthcare rises, and agriculture declines. You also include useful figures for manufacturing and the starting values for the other sectors. However, the overview is partly inaccurate or unclear: healthcare does not show that people are “more interested” in it, and agriculture falls to about 2 million jobs by 2020, not 3 million. More importantly, the final paragraph combines retail and healthcare as if both follow the same path, reporting a rise to 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020. In fact, retail rises from 6 to 15 and then 16, while healthcare rises from 2 to 11 and then 16. Separate these trends and make the overview more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs. The contrast marker “In contrast” also helps signal a change in focus. However, progression is weakened when retail and healthcare are grouped together in the final paragraph, since their figures differ substantially in 2000. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, as in “Although, manufacturing peaked in 1980,” and the overview’s short statements do not clearly connect the main trends. Organise the details by meaningful groups—for example, manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare—and give each sector its own figures. This would make comparisons easier to follow and improve the clarity of references throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “decreased steadily,” “peaked,” and “rapidly grew.” These choices show an attempt to describe movement rather than simply list figures. However, several word choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “individuals more interested in healthcare” interprets job numbers as personal preference, while “count of jobs” and “field” are less suitable than standard chart language such as “number of jobs” and “sector.” Spelling errors, including “foure,” “feilds,” “millios,” and “milions,” are noticeable and reduce precision. Also avoid repeating “jobs” and “millions” in the same phrase. Aim for accurate collocations such as “employment in healthcare” and “rose to 20 million.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including a time sequence with “then” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” The main trends are generally understandable, but errors in sentence construction and agreement occur across the response. For example, “Agriculture category show” needs a singular verb, and “the number of retail sector and healthcare were” has an unclear subject and incorrect agreement. The sentence beginning “Although” is incomplete as written, while “decreased steadily, throughout the period, and hitting low” has faulty punctuation and an inconsistent verb pattern. Plural forms and articles are also unreliable in phrases such as “15 millions jobs.” Practise complete, controlled sentences and check subject–verb agreement and number expressions.

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