Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph define the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. These sector are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

Overall, the menfactoring compenies have high jobs and the healthcare compenies hve very little jobs.however,the jobs of retails and agriculture increase drastically.

The number of jobs in menufacturing sectors were in high rate but after 1980 it had been started decreasing consistantly.In 1960, there were 15 million jobs in menufecturing company. However, In 1980 it was lead to 20 million which is the highest number of job in this graph but afer that it started decreasing and at the end of this graph in 2020, it had only 12 million jobs.

on the other hand, the healthcare supported only few jobs even in its peak time it had only 5 million jobs in 1960 after it decreases and in 1980 it supported only 3 million and in 2000 and 2020 it had the same number of jobs as like in 1980.In the case of agricuture and retail, these sector are grew

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify all four sectors and include some relevant figures, especially manufacturing’s rise to 20 million in 1980 and subsequent decline. However, the overview is substantially inaccurate: manufacturing did not remain the highest throughout, and healthcare did not have very few jobs by the end. Healthcare rose to about 16 million in 2020, matching retail, while agriculture declined overall rather than increasing. The body also misreports healthcare: its peak was around 16 million, not 5 million, and it did not fall after 1960. The final comparison is unfinished, so retail’s growth and agriculture’s decline are not properly described. To improve, give an accurate overview of the contrasting trends and report the main changes for all four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs discussing the sectors. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “However,” and “on the other hand” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is uneven: manufacturing receives a detailed account, healthcare is described with contradictory information, and the final sentence about retail and agriculture stops before explaining their trends. Some transitions do not clarify the comparison, and the long healthcare sentence is difficult to follow. Organise the body into clear comparisons—for example, manufacturing and agriculture, then retail and healthcare—and ensure each paragraph develops a complete point. This would make the sequence easier to follow and reduce the impression of disconnected or repetitive statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “number of jobs,” “sectors,” “decreasing,” and “highest,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “the jobs of retails,” “supported only few jobs,” and “high rate” for a number of jobs. Repeated references to “jobs” and “companies” also make the description less precise; the graph reports employment in sectors, not the number of companies. Spelling errors such as “menfactoring,” “compenies,” and “agricuture” are frequent enough to distract the reader. Practise accurate sector names and trend vocabulary, and use phrases such as “employment in manufacturing” or “the number of jobs rose.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a contrast with “However” and a time clause beginning “after 1980.” Some basic sentence meanings are clear, but errors recur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “These sector are” needs plural agreement, while “the jobs … increase” shifts tense and does not fit the past-time chart. The construction “it had been started decreasing” is not a natural or accurate passive form; “it began to decline” would be clearer. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in the long healthcare sentence, where a full stop is needed before “In 2000.” Work on past-tense consistency and shorter, correctly punctuated comparisons while continuing to practise complex structures.

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