Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates the jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of US's economy between 1960 and 2020. Jobs are mentioned in millions.

Overall, It is noticed that the manufacturing and agriculture are declining gradually overtime. Both retail and healthcare were consistently appreciating and in 2020 the jobs were at same numbers.

Firstly, there were 15 million jobs in manufacturing in 1960 which was highest amongst all the other jobs. Parallely, agriculture and retail had a smaller market compared to manufacturing at 5 million jobs. Healthcare being the least number of job market at 2 million jobs. All the sectors other than agriculture rose to a few million jobs in 1980. Namely, manufacturing inclined to 20 million jobs, retail hiked to 10 million jobs and healthcare rose to 5 million jobs.

Lastly, a major shift in job market started to change from mid 1980s. Manufacturing was affected with loss of jobs drastically and statistics shows 13 millions jobs in 2020. Both healthcare and retail expanded to 16 million jobs each. Agriculture did not had a major change, it almost had same jobs from 1980 to 2020 at average of 3 to 4 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline, while retail and healthcare rise, and you note that the latter two reach the same level by 2020. The account also includes several useful figures, such as manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the 2020 totals of 16 million for retail and healthcare. However, some details are inaccurate: agriculture and retail were both about 6 million in 1960, not 5, and agriculture fell to about 2 million by 2020 rather than remaining at 3–4 million. The overview also overstates a gradual decline in manufacturing, which first rose before falling. More precise reporting of these changes would make the key features more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure, moving from an introduction and overview to earlier figures and then later developments. Sequencing expressions such as “Firstly” and “Lastly” help readers follow the account, and the main comparisons are generally easy to locate. Some linking is mechanical, however, and “All the sectors other than agriculture rose” is followed by a list that would be clearer if the comparisons were grouped more deliberately. The reference to a shift “from mid 1980s” is also not well connected to the chart’s four data points. Use paragraphs organised around the main trends—rising sectors, declining sectors, and the endpoint comparison—and vary transitions to make progression more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “expanded,” “declining,” and “loss of jobs,” so the subject is clear. There are also attempts at less common wording, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “consistently appreciating,” “inclined to 20 million,” and “hiked to 10 million.” “Jobs are mentioned in millions” is also an awkward way to describe the unit. These choices do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and control of collocation. Prefer neutral reporting verbs such as “rose,” “increased,” “fell,” and “stood at,” and use “employment” or “number of jobs” where appropriate. This would make the vocabulary more accurate and suitably formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response includes both simple sentences and some longer structures, and most of the trends remain understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the manufacturing and agriculture are declining” has an unnecessary article and an awkward tense for a period ending in 2020; “Healthcare being the least number of job market” is a sentence fragment; and “Agriculture did not had” uses the wrong verb form. There are also agreement and number issues in “13 millions jobs” and “Both healthcare and retail expanded to 16 million jobs each.” Pay attention to articles, past-tense forms after “did,” and singular/plural agreement. More consistently complete sentences and accurate tense choices would improve control while retaining the range of structures attempted.

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