Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the empolyment is have great significance for a better economy in different.Different sector play a greater role for the empolyment in different country.in uk the four sector which provide empolyment are manufacturing, retail,agriculter,and healthcare.IN 1960 TO 2020 these four sector provide different empolment in us.the manufacturing sector are make development during this period and give more job other than 3 sector.the agriculture sector are have a week position through out the period,they have not significance for the empolyment in us,but the healthcare have a opposite situation, they are expand with time and also create job oppertunites for public.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the four sectors and make a broad comparison between manufacturing, agriculture and healthcare, so the response is related to the graph. However, it does not adequately summarise the main features: there is no clear overview of the changing rankings, and almost no accurate figures or specific comparisons. The claim that manufacturing “give more job other than 3 sector” is misleading for 2020, when retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million, compared with manufacturing at about 13 million. You also refer to the UK, although the graph is about the US. The response is 98 words, below the required 150, which further limits coverage. Include key figures and describe the major rises and falls.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces employment and the sectors, then comments on manufacturing, agriculture and healthcare. This gives the reader some sense of the topic, but the ideas are compressed into one long paragraph and do not progress through the graph in a clear, organised way. Connections such as “but” and “and also” are used, yet relationships between trends and comparisons remain vague. For example, “the agriculture sector are have a week position” is followed by a contrast with healthcare without explaining the relevant figures or time periods. Separate the introduction, overview and detailed comparisons into paragraphs, and use clear time markers such as “by 1980” and “from 2000 to 2020.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “healthcare” and “job opportunities,” showing an attempt to describe the graph. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear or unnatural, such as “have a week position,” “make development” and “provide different employment.” Spelling errors, including “empolyment,” “agriculter” and “oppertunites,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language and standard spellings; for example, describe a sector as “declined” or “expanded,” and say it “employed” a certain number of people. Avoid general claims about economic significance that the graph does not show.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, but control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent. Examples include “the empolyment is have great significance” and “the agriculture sector are have,” where the verb patterns are not grammatical. Agreement is also problematic in “Different sector play” and “they are expand with time.” Articles, plurals and punctuation are often missing or inconsistent, and the response relies heavily on loosely joined clauses rather than clearly formed sentences. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentence patterns first, such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980,” then add controlled comparisons using “while” or “whereas.”

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