Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Firstly in manufacturing sector the progress made in a steep way untill 1980 there was the rise in job market from fifteen millions jobs in 1960 which increased and reached twenty millions in 1980. After that the job market decreased in an noticable way which reached twelve and half million untill 2020.And secondly retail graph shows a steep icreaese in jobs from 1960 to 2000.After that the progress had been slowed infact jobs increase but not in an obvius way from 1960 to 2020.But the total increase in job market was about ten to eleven millions jobs.And at third agriculture sector shows from 1960 to 1980 job market dropped from five miilion to less remain constant untill 2000 and after 2000 it further dropped untill 2020 and at last healthcare sector reached 5 milllion jobs in 1980 and from that it increased in steep way and reached more then 15 millions in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and report several broad trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, and healthcare rising strongly. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it lacks a clear overall overview and gives limited comparisons between sectors. Some figures are inaccurate or vague: agriculture starts at about six million, not five million, and manufacturing ends at about 13 million rather than 12.5 million. The retail description says the increase slowed after 2000, but does not clearly report its final level or compare it with healthcare, which also reaches about 16 million by 2020. A concise overview highlighting the contrasting trends and the sectors with the most jobs at the end would make the key features clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a recognisable sequence through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, so the reader can identify which sector is being discussed. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear introduction or overview to guide the summary. Linking phrases such as “Firstly,” “And secondly,” “at third” and “at last” are repetitive and sometimes awkward, while several ideas run together without clear sentence boundaries. For example, the retail discussion shifts from the rise to the slower increase and then to the total change without a clear progression. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview and one or two detail paragraphs, and use transitions to show comparisons rather than simply listing sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decreased,” “dropped,” “remain constant” and “reached.” This gives the reader a basic sense of movement in the figures. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “the progress made in a steep way,” “job market” for the number of jobs in a sector, and “the progress had been slowed.” Spelling errors, including “icreaese,” “obvius” and “miilion,” are also noticeable and can distract from the information. Choose precise chart language and vary it appropriately—for example, “rose sharply,” “declined,” “levelled off” and “employment in manufacturing.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, but these structures are often faulty, and sentence boundaries are not consistently controlled. For instance, “After that the job market decreased in an noticable way which reached twelve and half million untill 2020.And secondly…” combines clauses awkwardly and lacks appropriate punctuation. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals and verb forms, as in “from fifteen millions jobs” and “agriculture sector shows.” These errors sometimes make relationships between events difficult to follow. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses accurately. Check articles and number agreement, and use consistent past-tense forms when describing the historical data.

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