Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The first point of the essay would be the focus on the àgriculture beacuse agriculture is a much important part of any country economy which is declining since 1960 and is still at the lowest in the US. The one thing that US is improving is retail Bussiness which is quite good for the economy...the thing which is most brilliant is the health care jobs it means US is providing better guidance and better job opportunities for the nation that is why it is improving alot.manufactionaring was the highest job during 1960 but now it is declining.overall the best policies regarding job is healtcare and retailing bussiness but US should also improve its bussiness in agriculture because agriculture is must for Any country

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant broad trends: agriculture declines, manufacturing falls after being highest, and retail and healthcare grow. However, the response only minimally reports the graph’s information. It gives no figures or clear comparisons across the years, and the claim that healthcare growth means the US is providing “better guidance” is an unsupported interpretation rather than a feature shown by the data. The overview is also mixed with opinions about which sectors are “best” and what the country should improve. The response is 123 words, below the required 150, which further limits its coverage. To develop the task more fully, describe the main changes with approximate values and compare the sectors at the beginning and end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence of ideas, moving from agriculture to retail, healthcare and manufacturing, and the final sentence attempts to summarise the writer’s view. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, with no clear introduction, overview or organised detail paragraphs. Connections between points are often abrupt: “The one thing” and “the thing which is most brilliant” do not clearly signal comparisons in the graph, while the ellipsis and run-on transitions make the progression harder to follow. The repeated focus on opinions about the economy also interrupts the description of the data. Use separate paragraphs and organise the information by overall trends or by rising and falling sectors, with clear linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “declining,” “improving,” “highest,” and “job opportunities,” so the general subject is understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are informal, imprecise or unsuitable for describing a graph. Phrases such as “quite good,” “most brilliant,” and “better guidance” express opinions rather than measurable trends. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “àgriculture,” “beacuse,” “Bussiness,” “manufactionaring,” and “healtcare,” which reduce accuracy and polish. Aim for precise trend language and accurate sector names, such as “increased steadily,” “fell to,” or “remained the smallest sector,” rather than evaluative wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, for example, “The one thing that US is improving is retail Bussiness which is quite good for the economy,” and the main ideas can generally be understood. However, the response relies heavily on simple or loosely joined clauses, and longer sentences are often difficult to control. In “agriculture is a much important part of any country economy which is declining,” the clause structure makes it unclear whether the country’s economy or agriculture is declining. The text also has inconsistent sentence boundaries and punctuation, particularly where “improving alot.manufactionaring” runs directly into the next idea. Practise writing complete, clearly punctuated sentences and use accurate clause structures to compare trends.

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