Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph given above illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the American economy between the years 1960 and 2020

The main four sectors int he graph are manufacturing retail, ariculture and healthcare. Between them the manufacturing and agricultural sector saw some downfalls. Manufacturing jobs rose from 15 million in 1960 to about 20 million in the 1980s before the fall started in the early 2000s continuing upto 2020 in the graph. For agricultural sector jobs started above 5 million in the 1960s which had a huge downfall upto 2020 in the graph.

Healthcare started with the least amount in the year 1960 having a gradual but steady rise continuing all the way upto 2020 where it's on the peak. Also retail started just above 5 million jobs but had a very steady growth putting it above 15 million with healthcare.

As the graph illustrates Manufacturing and the Agricultural sectors have had considerable downfalls overthe years where as healthcare and Retail have risen from the lower margins to become one of the highest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline, while retail and healthcare rise. Several figures and trends are accurately reported, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 million to about 20 million and healthcare’s growth from the lowest starting point to a joint high in 2020. However, some key details are incomplete or imprecise. Agriculture falls from about 6 million to 2 million, but calling this a “huge downfall” overstates the change, and its level is not specified at the intermediate years. The account also omits that retail overtakes manufacturing by 2020 and that healthcare and retail both finish at about 16 million. Develop the overview with these comparisons and report the main stages more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally coherent arrangement: an introduction is followed by descriptions of the sectors and a concluding summary. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture, then healthcare with retail, helps the reader follow the main contrasts. Some links and references, however, are unclear or repetitive. The final sentence repeats the overview rather than adding a distinct comparison, while phrases such as “where it's on the peak” do not clearly identify the value or explain that healthcare shares the highest endpoint with retail. The long manufacturing sentence also combines several time points without clear punctuation. Use a more distinct overview and body paragraphs, and connect each trend to its relevant dates so the progression is easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “rose,” “steady growth,” “gradual,” and “considerable,” and the meaning is generally clear. Some choices are imprecise or too informal for describing data: “downfalls” is not a natural term for a declining trend, and “huge downfall” exaggerates the agricultural change. “On the peak” and “lower margins” are also awkward in this context. There are spelling errors in “ariculture” and “int he,” as well as the joined form “overthe.” Aim for precise chart language and accurate spelling; for example, describe a sector as declining or falling, and say that a figure reaches a peak or a high point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the main trends remain understandable. Some grammatical and punctuation errors nevertheless reduce control. The opening is a sentence fragment because it has no final full stop, and the list in “manufacturing retail, ariculture and healthcare” needs clearer punctuation. In “jobs started above 5 million … which had a huge downfall,” the relative clause has an unclear reference; the jobs, rather than the sector, should be stated as the subject of the decline. The sentence beginning “Manufacturing jobs rose…” also needs punctuation to separate the time stages. Check sentence boundaries, clause references, and punctuation, while keeping the useful variety of structures you already attempt.

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