Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The pie graph illustrates the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, argriculture and healthcare sectors of US economy between 1960 and 2020. The figures are merasured in millions.

Looking at the details, manufacturing had the highest numbers of jobs in 1960 recorded at 15 million. However, this figure rose drastically and reached 20 million in 1980. After that the trend decreased and accounted for under 15 million in 2020. Meanwhile, the retail sector was over 5 million in 1960, then the number rose sharply and reached 15 million in 2000 before climbing to over 15 million in 2020. In contrast, agriculture sector was at 15 million in 1960, subsequently, the number of jobs fell and represented under 5 million in 1980. While, this number stabled till 2000, thereafter there was a slight decrease and constitued under 3 million. The agriculture had the lowest number of jobs in 1960, 3 million. While the number rose sharply and accounted for 5 million in 1980; Furthermore, the upward trend continued and reached the same figure of retail sector.

Overall, manufacturing had the highest figure in the beginning, and the trend went down. Meanwhile, reatail and agriculture sectors were rise sharply and stood at same number of jobs in 2020. In contrast the healthcare sector drecresed and stabled from 1980 to 2000, then it again fell slightly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and subsequent decline, and the growth in retail jobs. However, major data are repeatedly misreported: agriculture is said to have 15 million jobs in 1960, when it was about 6 million, and healthcare is described as declining, although it rose from about 2 million to 16 million. The overview also incorrectly says retail and agriculture rose and finished at the same level; agriculture fell to about 2 million. These inaccuracies mean the main features are not reliably summarised. To improve, check each series against the graph and give an accurate overview of the contrasting trends and the sectors with the highest and lowest figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has paragraph breaks and attempts to organise details before giving an overall statement. It also uses linking expressions such as “Meanwhile,” “In contrast,” and “After that.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because the agriculture and healthcare descriptions are confused, and the agriculture figures are repeated in contradictory ways. For example, agriculture is first reported at 15 million in 1960, then later as the lowest sector at 3 million. The overview also reverses healthcare’s trend. Some transitions, including “While,” are used as sentence openings without a clear connection to the preceding idea. Group the information by sector or by rising and falling trends, and ensure each paragraph develops a consistent account.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is a minimally adequate range for describing a graph, with phrases such as “rose sharply,” “reached,” “accounted for,” and “the trend decreased.” These help communicate movement and comparison. However, several word-choice and spelling problems reduce precision: “pie graph” misidentifies the visual, while “stabled” and “constitued” are inaccurate forms, and “argriculture,” “merasured,” “reatail,” and “drecresed” are misspelled. Some expressions are also awkward, such as “had the highest numbers of jobs” and “stood at same number.” Use standard graph terminology and check spelling and collocations; more precise wording would make the trends easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “However,” “Meanwhile,” and “before.” Nevertheless, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships unclear. For example, “While, this number stabled till 2000” is not a complete, well-formed clause, and “retail and agriculture sectors were rise sharply” has an incorrect verb construction. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “The agriculture had the lowest number” and the semicolon after “1980.” Practise forming complete clauses and maintaining consistent past-tense verbs, such as “rose,” “remained stable,” and “fell.” Clearer punctuation would also help separate contrasting trends.

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