Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph tracks changes about the amount of employement in four areas of US economic between six decades.

Healthcare and retail rise in employement almost in quarter of century, However agriculture remain unempolyed sector after ten year. Furthermore manufacturing rise in first two decades,although remain unemployed after this.

In 1960, number of jobs in sector of manufacturing rose from 15 million and goes to 20 million in 1980.In first two decades the number of jobs in manufacturing was rising but afterwards decreasing. Agriculture was the smllest sector dropping from 6 million jobs in first decade to under 4 million employement in next decade.

Healthcare incrasing from 3 millions of employement to 16 millions. Retail jobs grew steadily from six million to 17 million jobs overtaking manufacturing around 2020. these healthcare and retail sector had an rapid increase in job overtaking manufacting and agriculture in 2020,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, and the growth of healthcare and retail. However, the summary is incomplete and some details are inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million, and retail reaches about 16 million, not 17 million. The claim that agriculture was “unemployed” is unclear; the chart shows a small but continuing number of jobs, falling to about 2 million by 2020. There is no clear, accurate overview of the final comparison, when retail and healthcare are joint-highest. The response also falls four words short of the required minimum. Add a concise overview and report the main figures and comparisons more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph, then discusses manufacturing and agriculture, followed by healthcare and retail. This gives the reader some sense of organisation, and words such as “Furthermore” and “afterwards” attempt to connect ideas. However, there is no clear paragraphing or sustained progression, and several links are confusing. For example, “However agriculture remain unempolyed sector after ten year” does not clearly relate to the preceding sentence, while the final sentence repeats the idea that healthcare and retail increased and overtook other sectors. Group the information into an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, and use linking phrases to show comparisons rather than repeat points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “tracks changes,” “dropping,” “decreasing,” “grew steadily,” and “overtaking.” This shows an attempt to vary the language rather than list figures alone. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear, such as “unemployed sector” for a sector with few jobs and “amount of employement” for the number of jobs. Spelling errors, including “employement,” “smllest,” “incrasing,” and “manufacting,” are also noticeable. Use accurate chart vocabulary consistently, and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe agriculture as having the fewest jobs, rather than as unemployed.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a contrast with “but afterwards decreasing” and a sentence linking the growth of retail to overtaking manufacturing. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “agriculture remain” instead of “agriculture remained,” “number of jobs … rose from 15 million and goes to 20 million,” and “these healthcare and retail sector had an rapid increase.” Articles, agreement, tense consistency, and sentence boundaries need attention. Practise writing clear past-tense comparisons, such as “Manufacturing rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, before declining.” Proofread each sentence for a complete, correctly formed clause.

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