Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the line graph gives key informations about number of jobs in US between 1960 and 2020 in diferent economy sectors namely manufacturing ,retail, agiculture and healthcare The units are measured in millions .

Overall it clear from the graph that manufacturing was the highest sector in 1960 while in 2020 retail and healthcare sector were the bigest . In addition retail and healthcare increased whereas agriculture and manufacturing droped .

According to what it shown ,manufacturing tooke 15 millions jobs in 1960 rosed to 20 in the next tow decade however after that it droped to about 13 in 2020 similarly agriculture fell from aproximatively 6 to 2 million employment in 1960 and 2020 respectively .

In terms of Healthcare field has increased sharply from 6 in 1960 to over than 15 by 2020 similarly retail grow dramaticly from 6 in 1960 to remain highest over 15 in 2020 equaly with healthcare .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing leads at the start, while retail and healthcare are the largest sectors by 2020, and agriculture declines. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million in 1980 and subsequent fall to about 13 million. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 6 million, and reaches about 16 million; retail rises to around 16 million, but it does not remain clearly higher than healthcare at the end. The account also gives limited attention to retail’s steady growth and agriculture’s low, nearly stable level from 1980 to 2000. A more precise overview and fuller comparison of all four trends would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details, so the reader can follow its general purpose. You also use linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In addition,” and “similarly” to connect points. However, the final paragraph groups trends in a way that sometimes makes comparisons difficult to follow: “similarly” links healthcare and agriculture despite their opposite directions, and the retail and healthcare figures are compressed into one sentence. Some references, such as “after that,” could be clearer about the period being discussed. Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, declining sectors together and growing sectors together—and use linking words only where the relationship is accurate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “increased,” “fell,” “sharply,” and “respectively,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to report. However, the range and control are limited by repeated or imprecise wording, such as “biggest,” “droped,” and “grow dramaticly.” There are also spelling errors in key terms, including “informations,” “diferent,” “agriculture,” and “approximatively,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the report. Some phrases are not natural for this context, such as “tooke 15 millions jobs” and “over than 15.” Use standard collocations such as “employed 15 million people” and “rose to just over 15 million,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “however” and a comparison using “whereas.” The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships unclear. For example, “Overall it clear” is missing a verb, while “manufacturing tooke 15 millions jobs” has an incorrect verb form and plural construction. The sentence beginning “In terms of Healthcare field has increased” lacks a clear grammatical subject, and punctuation around clauses such as “however” is not controlled. Practise complete subject–verb structures, accurate past-tense forms, and sentence boundaries. For instance: “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.”

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