Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the employment opportunities in four economic sector in the US (Manufacturing, Retail, Healthcare and Agriculture) from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector accounted for the highest number of jobs in most years except 2020 when retail and healthcare sectors slightly overtook it. Contrarily, agricultural industry showed the lowest number of employment.

In 1960, the availability of jobs in manufacturing sector was around 15 million. Then, it reached a peak of 20 million in 1980. This figure decreased from 16 million in 2000 to almost 13 million in 2020. On the other hand, the agriculture department started at about 6 million in 1980 and decreased up to 2 million till 2020.

The employment opportunities in retail sector was 6 million in 1960. Then, this figure rose gradually from 10 million to 15 million in year 1980 and 2000, respectively. Similarly, healthcare sector also started at around 3 million in 1960 and increased up to 12 million in 2000. Both retail and healthcare sectors overtook the manufacturing department with the figure 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing leads for much of the period, while agriculture is the smallest sector, and retail and healthcare reach about 16 million jobs by 2020. The response also includes relevant figures for all four sectors. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing is reported at 16 million in 2000 rather than about 17 million, and agriculture is said to start at 6 million in 1980, although it starts at 6 million in 1960 and falls to 3 million by 1980. The overview’s claim that retail and healthcare “slightly overtook” manufacturing could be more precise: both are around 16 million, compared with manufacturing at about 13 million. More accurate reporting and fuller coverage of the key changes would strengthen the summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare, gives the reader a sensible way to follow the comparisons. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “On the other hand,” and “Similarly” help signal relationships between points. However, some connections are not fully clear: “This figure decreased from 16 million in 2000” does not smoothly connect to the earlier peak of 20 million, and the agriculture sentence gives the wrong starting year, disrupting the timeline. The repeated use of “Then” also makes parts of the progression somewhat mechanical. Clearer chronological phrasing and more precise references would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “accounted for,” “peak,” “decreased,” “rose gradually,” and “overtook.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and the response varies its wording rather than relying only on “jobs.” Some less natural or imprecise expressions limit the effectiveness of the vocabulary, however. “Employment opportunities” and “availability of jobs” are less direct than standard chart language such as “number of jobs” or “employment.” “Agriculture department” and “manufacturing department” are also unsuitable labels for economic sectors. Aim for precise, consistent terms and natural collocations; this will make the comparisons sound more fluent without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrastive structures such as “Overall … except 2020 when…” and “On the other hand…”. Most sentences communicate the intended trend, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “four economic sector” needs a plural noun, and “The employment opportunities in retail sector was” has a subject–verb agreement problem and is missing an article before “retail sector.” The phrase “started at about 6 million in 1980 and decreased up to 2 million till 2020” also needs more accurate grammatical phrasing for the time period. Check plural forms, articles, and agreement, and use consistent past-tense forms when describing the historical data.

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