Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors, including manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, increasing and decreasing over the years.

There are 15% people how are doing jobs in manufacturing in 1960 and this number increased significantly in 1980 and goes to 20%. While in retail there are only 6% in 1960 but in 1980 it goes to 10% and also in healthcare it goes from 2% to 5% in 1980, but in agriculture there are 6% people who are going this job but but it declining to 3% in 1980.

On the other hand

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and mention all four sectors, and the figures you give for 1960 and 1980 are broadly consistent with the graph. However, the overview is too general: saying the sectors “increasing and decreasing” does not identify the main patterns, such as manufacturing peaking in 1980 before falling, or retail and healthcare rising overall. The response stops at “On the other hand” and gives no information about 2000 or 2020, so the task is only minimally covered. It is also 107 words, below the required 150; the 11 words copied from the prompt are excluded from that count. Add a complete overview and report the later-year trends and key comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The opening sentence establishes the topic, and the next paragraph attempts to group information from 1960 and 1980. However, the response has no developed paragraph structure or clear progression through the four years, and it ends with the unfinished transition “On the other hand”. The long sentence beginning “There are 15% people…” combines several sectors and comparisons, making the relationships difficult to follow. “While” and “but” are used to connect ideas, but the links do not create a complete, balanced account. Organise the report into an introduction, a concise overview, and body paragraphs that group the trends logically; use complete transitions and avoid leaving a sentence unfinished.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to identify the chart’s subject and sectors, using terms such as “manufacturing”, “retail”, “agriculture” and “healthcare”. You also attempt trend language with “increased significantly” and “declining”. However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or repetitive: “15% people” mislabels the chart’s unit, which is jobs in millions, and “people who are doing jobs” is an awkward way to describe employment figures. “The number of jobs” is repeated from the introduction in the overview. Use precise chart vocabulary such as “million jobs”, “employment”, “rose”, “fell” and “remained stable” to describe the data clearly and vary your phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some connected sentence forms, including a sentence with “While” and another with “but”, and the opening sentence is grammatically clear. However, the range is limited, and errors recur in the longer sentence: “There are 15% people how are doing jobs” has problems with sentence structure and the relative clause, while “this number increased significantly in 1980 and goes to 20%” shifts tense. The final “On the other hand” is an incomplete sentence. These issues make parts of the report difficult to read, although the intended comparisons can generally be understood. Practise complete sentences, consistent past-tense reporting, and accurate clause construction; for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980.”

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