Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the proportion of jobs of four different fields (Manufacuring,Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare) from the period of 1960 and 2020 in the United States.

Overall, Healthcare department was recorded as the lowest jobs in 1960 and abruptly changings from 1980 to 2020 in the job market of Healthcare department as opposed to the Manufacturing which gradually decreased from 1980 to 2020.

Health care departments improved significantly from 1980 and at the highest levvel in 2020 as compare to the retail department which decreased for first 20 years and then become steady after 1980. the maximum jobs in manufactoring has been recorded in the year of 1980 of nearly 20 million jobs while the least jobs are recorded in the agriculture field in the 1980 and after that it become steady with no changing at all from 1980 to 2020.

manufactoring has a major downfall of jobs from 2000 to 2020 with 15 million jobs to 12 million jobs respectively. The health care departments shows much progress in the job market from 1980 to 2020. it increased from 5 million to above than 15 million of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and healthcare’s strong rise to the end of the period. However, the overview is not consistently accurate: retail did not decrease in the first 20 years; it rose from about 6 million to 10 million, then continued increasing. The claim that agriculture was steady from 1980 to 2020 also misses its further fall to about 2 million by 2020. Some figures are imprecise, such as manufacturing falling from 15 million to 12 million between 2000 and 2020, rather than approximately 17 million to 13 million. Select the main trends accurately and compare the sectors more clearly to develop the summary fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an opening, an overview, and further details, so there is some organisation. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview combines several trends in a long sentence, and later paragraphs repeat healthcare’s rise and manufacturing’s decline. The transition from manufacturing to healthcare in the final paragraph is abrupt, while phrases such as “as opposed to” do not clearly express the intended comparison. Grouping the information by trend—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—would create a clearer sequence. Use linking expressions selectively and make sure each paragraph has a distinct purpose.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “maximum,” and “million jobs,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “proportion of jobs” for the number of jobs, “abruptly changings,” and “highest levvel.” Spelling errors in “Manufacuring” and “manufactoring” also reduce accuracy. Repeated use of “jobs” and “department” makes the description less precise. Practise using standard trend language and the names of sectors consistently, while checking spelling and choosing expressions that describe quantities rather than proportions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and comparisons, but control is uneven, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “Healthcare department was recorded as the lowest jobs” has an incorrect sentence structure, while “retail department which decreased … and then become steady” contains problems with the verb forms and clause construction. The sentence beginning “Overall” also shifts awkwardly between past and present forms. There are some simple sentence patterns, but complex attempts are often faulty. Build accuracy by using clear subject–verb structures, maintaining past tense for the historical data, and separating long sentences when they contain several comparisons.

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