Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrate the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy of united states between 1960 an 2000.

Overall, the healthcare sector shows rapid growth over the time periode along with the retail sector. In the contrast, the manufacturing sector surged in the begining then it face downfall.The agriculture sector shows significant amount of decline.

The healthcare sector shows significant amount of growth from 1960 to 1980 where it reached to 5 millions jobs,afterward it even grow more rapidly and reached above the 15 millions jobs by 2020.Similarly,retail sector surged and by the 1980 reached 10 millions jobs and by the 2020 it reached above 15 millions same as where healthcare reached.

While on the other hand manufacturing sector in 1960 at 15 millions jobs and then shows significant about of growth for two decades and reached 20 million jobs. afterward, it fell steadly and drop to even lower then from where it starts, by the end of 2020 its

Agriculture sector in 1960 was at above the 5 millions jobs and thern afterwards it steadly decrease and fell below the 5 millions jobs and then remain pleatue from 1980 to 2000 .

After 2000 it steadly decline and fell to 2 millions approximatley.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks before declining, and agriculture falls. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 million and healthcare’s increase to 5 million by 1980. This covers the task well, with the overview showing a clear grasp of the main trends. However, some details are incomplete or imprecise: manufacturing’s final figure is left unfinished, and the response says it fell below its starting point without giving the endpoint of about 13 million. Retail and healthcare both finish at approximately 16 million, rather than merely “above 15.” The introduction also gives the period as ending in 2000, although the graph continues to 2020. More precise coverage of these details would make the account more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and paragraphs describing the rising and falling sectors. Grouping healthcare with retail and manufacturing with agriculture is a sensible way to organise the information. However, progression becomes difficult to follow in places, especially where the manufacturing sentence ends abruptly at “by the end of 2020 its” before agriculture is introduced. Connectors such as “Similarly” and “While on the other hand” are sometimes awkward or repetitive, and the latter does not clearly signal the relationship between the sectors. Some sentences also combine several time points without clear punctuation. Use complete sentences, keep each sector’s account together, and use linking phrases only when they clarify a comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “rapid growth,” “surged,” “downfall,” and “decline,” so the reader can generally understand the changes being described. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “significant amount of growth,” “shows significant about of growth,” and “remain pleatue.” Spelling errors, including “periode,” “begining,” “steadly,” and “approximatley,” also reduce precision. Some expressions are too informal or vague for a data report, such as “same as where healthcare reached.” Aim for standard chart language and accurate forms—for example, “increased steadily,” “remained stable,” and “approximately”—and vary the verbs without using “surged” for every rise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including comparisons introduced by “Similarly” and “While.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships or details harder to follow. For example, “The graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the manufacturing sector in 1960 at 15 millions jobs” is not a complete sentence. The unfinished clause “by the end of 2020 its” also leaves the meaning incomplete. Articles, plurals and punctuation need attention in phrases such as “5 millions jobs” and in sentences where clauses run together without spaces or full stops. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, tense consistency and sentence boundaries during revision.

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