Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information of number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clearly seen that the number of jobs in retail and healthcare experienced an upward trend, whereas manufacturing increased at first and then declined. Agriculture was the only sector that saw a continuous decrease over the period.

In 1960, manufacturing had around 15 million and this figure increased to 20 million in 1980, however it then gradually decreased by around 17 million in 2000 and reacged to approximately 14 million in last given period. Similarly, retail jobs rose steadily from 6 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2000, and around 16 million in 2020.

Regarding healthcare sector, the number of jobs increased from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, then it increased significantly and reached to16 million in 2020. In contrast, the jobs in agriculture stood at 6 million in 1960, then gradually fell around 4 million in 1980. However, this number remained stable in 2000 and again decreased to about 2 million in last given year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You provide a clear overview of the main patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks before falling, and agriculture declines overall. The key figures are mostly accurate, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million and retail’s rise to about 16 million. This covers the task well and shows some selection of relevant comparisons. However, a few details are less fully reported: healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, but this intermediate stage is omitted, and agriculture is described as falling to around 4 million in 1980 rather than approximately 3 million. Including the 2000 healthcare figure and checking the agriculture value would make the account more precise and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a coherent sequence, with an introduction, a separate overview, and two detail paragraphs grouped by sectors. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Similarly,” and “In contrast” help readers follow the comparisons. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the manufacturing sentence, “increased to 20 million in 1980, however it then…” joins contrasting clauses awkwardly; use a full stop or a semicolon before “however.” The agriculture paragraph also uses “However” for a straightforward continuation of the decline, which weakens the relationship between ideas. More deliberate transitions and clearer sentence boundaries would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “declined,” “rose steadily,” and “remained stable,” so the main movements are communicated clearly. There are also some inaccurate or unnatural choices that limit precision: “the information of number of jobs” is an awkward opening, and “reached to” is not the usual collocation for describing a figure. “Gradually decreased by around 17 million” also suggests a fall of 17 million, rather than a fall to 17 million. Check spelling as well: “reacged” should be “reached.” Choosing more precise verbs and standard collocations would strengthen the description without requiring more complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “whereas” and “then,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors are present, particularly with articles, sentence boundaries, and prepositions. For example, “manufacturing had around 15 million” needs a noun such as “jobs,” while “reached to approximately 14 million” should be “reached approximately 14 million.” The sentence beginning “increased to 20 million in 1980, however…” needs clearer punctuation between the clauses. There are also inconsistent spaces around figures. Review these patterns and aim for more consistently accurate complex sentences.

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