Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the US economy from 1960 to 2020

Overall,employment in manufacturing increased initially before declining toward the end of the period. in contrast,the number of jobs in healthcare showed an upward trend.The figures for retail and agriculture also changed over time

In 1960,manufacturing was one of the largest employment sectors,with approximately 15 million jobs. This figyre rose to a peak of around 20 million in 1980.However,it subsequently declined steadily,reaching approximately 12 million in 2020Meanwhile,retail employment increased gradually over the time,reaching around 15 million jobs the end

Healthcare employment also experienced considerable growth, rising from a relatively low figure in the early years to approximately 15 million jobs in 2020. By contrast, agriculture accounted for fewer jobs than the other sectors foe much of the period. the figures suggest that empluyment patterns in the US changed significantly between 1960 and 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main contrast between manufacturing and healthcare, and your overview correctly notes manufacturing’s initial rise and later decline alongside healthcare’s growth. Several figures are also broadly accurate: manufacturing reaches about 20 million in 1980, and agriculture remains the smallest sector. This gives the report a relevant, clear foundation. However, some important comparisons are incomplete or imprecise. Retail is described as rising to around 15 million, but the graph shows about 16 million in 2020; healthcare also reaches approximately 16 million, not 15 million. The account omits retail’s overtaking of manufacturing by 2020 and gives little detail on agriculture’s fall from 6 to 2 million. Include these key endpoints and comparisons to make coverage more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” “Meanwhile,” and “By contrast” help signal comparisons, and the reader can follow the broad trends. Some cohesion is less controlled, however. The overview says that retail and agriculture “also changed over time” without explaining how, while the final sentence repeats a general point about changing employment patterns rather than adding a useful comparison. Missing spaces after punctuation and run-on joins, such as “2020Meanwhile,” also interrupt the flow. Grouping the two rising sectors together and contrasting them with the declining sectors, while using clear sentence boundaries, would create more logical progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “declined steadily,” “upward trend,” and “considerable growth.” These choices communicate the main movements and show some variety beyond basic verbs such as “increased.” There are, however, several spelling errors—“figyre,” “foe,” and “empluyment”—and some phrasing is imprecise or incomplete. For example, “reaching around 15 million jobs the end” lacks a natural expression of time, and “the figures for retail and agriculture also changed” is too general to describe their distinct trends. Use accurate sector-specific verbs and check spelling carefully; more precise wording would make the comparisons clearer without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrast structure “Overall, employment …, in contrast, …” and the participle phrase “rising from a relatively low figure.” Most of the intended meaning remains understandable. Some errors in punctuation and sentence construction nevertheless reduce accuracy: “reaching around 15 million jobs the end” is missing a preposition, and “2020Meanwhile” joins separate ideas without a proper boundary. Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent, as in “in contrast” and “the figures suggest.” There are also comma-spacing problems throughout. Review sentence boundaries, prepositions in time expressions, and capital letters after full stops; these corrections would improve control while preserving your varied sentence forms.

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