Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given bar graph illustrates the quantum of jobs in four diverse sectors of the economy in the US, between the period of 1960 to 2020. It is evident that the manufacturing and agriculture sectors have seen visible decline in number of jobs over the years, whereas the other two sectors have shown considerable amount of improvement in number of jobs over the years.

First and foremost, the maufacturing sector had highest number of employment jobs with a count of approximately 20 million in the year 1980. However, with the coming years the sector has faced continuous decline over the years. It is imperative to note that the number of jobs (approx. 12 million) in the year 2020 is considerably lower as compared to jobs in the year 1960 (approx. 15 million). Which clearly portrays a decline of approximately 10% over 60 years.

Similary, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector started with a count of approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 which gradually reduced to almost 2 million over 60 years depicting a decline of approximately 60%.

On the other hand, the most booming sector amongst all sectors is the retail sector. The number of jobs have shown significant improvement over the years with a rise of almost 150% in number of jobs over 60 years. However, the graph depicts a stagnant position in number of jobs during the period [redacted phone].

Lasty, the employment opportunities in the healthcare sector have immensely increased with the passage of years. Initially, the number of jobs in the year 1960 counted approximately 1 million which increased to 5 million in the year 1980, then to 11 million in the year 2000 and ultimately raised to 16 million number of jobs in the year 2020. The data shows an increase of almost 100% in number of jobs in the healthcare sector.

Conclusively, it can be said that the most booming sector is the healthcare sector, whereas the sector that has failed in providing sufficient job opportunities over the years is the agriculture sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare grow, and you include relevant figures for each sector. The overview is clear, and the healthcare sequence is particularly well reported. However, some details are inaccurate or insufficiently developed. Manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980, but then falls to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020; describing a continuous decline after 1980 misses the intermediate figure. Retail rises from 6 to 16 million, so it does not remain stagnant from 2000 to 2020 (it increases from 15 to 16). The stated percentage changes are also unreliable, and healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 1 million. More precise comparisons would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a coherent sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by separate paragraphs on the four sectors, then a concluding comparison. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” help signal contrasts, and the reader can generally follow the account. However, some transitions feel mechanical (“First and foremost,” “Similary,” “Lasty”), and repeated references to change “over the years” make the progression less efficient. The conclusion largely repeats the overview rather than adding a useful comparison. Cohesion is also weakened when a sentence fragment follows a full stop: “Which clearly portrays a decline…” Connect related figures more directly and use clearer references to years and values to make the comparisons flow naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “decline,” “stagnant,” “significant improvement,” and “increased.” These choices make the main patterns understandable, and you attempt more formal phrasing. Some expressions are unnatural or imprecise, however: “quantum of jobs,” “employment jobs,” “booming sector,” and “failed in providing sufficient job opportunities” are not well suited to a neutral chart summary. “Improvement” can also imply that growth is necessarily positive, whereas “increase” is more objective. There are spelling errors in “maufacturing,” “Similary,” and “Lasty.” Aim for precise, conventional collocations and check spelling; this would make the vocabulary more controlled without requiring unnecessarily elaborate wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses with “whereas” and time clauses such as “which increased to 5 million in the year 1980.” Most meanings remain clear, but some grammatical and punctuation errors persist. “The number of jobs have shown” has subject–verb disagreement; use “has shown.” The sentence beginning “Which clearly portrays…” is a fragment and should be joined to the preceding sentence. In “a rise of almost 150% in number of jobs,” the article is missing (“in the number of jobs”). Some phrasing also creates awkward sentence structure, as in “increased to 16 million number of jobs.” Use complete sentences, check agreement and articles, and vary sentence patterns while keeping them accurate.

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