Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the employment opportunities in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare sectors in the United States from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the Manufacturing sector accounted for the highest number of jobs in most years except 2020. While, the retail and healthcare sectors increased gradually over the given period and the agriculture sector showed the lowest number of employment.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector started at 15 million number of jobs, reaching a peak of 20 million in 1980. Consequently, this figure decreased to around 17 million to 13 million in 2000 and 2020, respectively. While, the agriculture sector started at around 6 million in 1960 and decreased upto 2 million till 2020.

On the other hand, the retail sector stood at 6 million in 1960 then rose gradually to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. Similarly, the healthcare department also had about 3 million number of jobs in 1960, then grew significantly to 5 million in 1980 and around 12 million in 2000. In contrast, both the retail and agriculture sectors slightly overtaken the manufacturing department in 2020, with 16 million figure as compared to 13 million for the manufacturing sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing leads for much of the period, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture declines. Several key figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to 13 million by 2020. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 3 million, and reaches about 16 million in 2020, which is omitted. The statement that retail and agriculture both overtook manufacturing in 2020 is incorrect; agriculture remained the smallest sector at about 2 million. The overview is relevant, but these errors and the limited coverage of the final healthcare figure mean some features are addressed more fully than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to paragraphs describing the sectors, and the reader can generally follow the comparisons. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture and then retail with healthcare is a sensible way to organise the data. However, some linking is mechanical or confusing. For example, “While” begins a sentence fragment-like transition after a full stop, and “In contrast” does not clearly express the relationship in the final comparison. The sentence claiming that retail and agriculture overtook manufacturing also disrupts the progression because it conflicts with the figures. Use transitions that accurately signal comparison, and make each paragraph’s focus and references more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “accounted for,” “reaching a peak,” “decreased,” and “grew significantly,” which helps describe trends. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural for this chart, such as “employment opportunities” for the number of jobs and “healthcare department” for a sector. Phrases like “15 million number of jobs” and “slightly overtaken” also show that collocation and word form are not consistently controlled. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they reduce precision. Aim for concise chart language such as “employment,” “the healthcare sector,” and “the figure stood at,” and choose verbs that match the size and direction of the change.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses beginning with “While” and “Although”-type comparisons, and most of the trends remain understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however. “From 1960 and 2020” should use “to,” while “decreased to around 17 million to 13 million” needs a clearer construction, such as “fell from 17 million in 2000 to 13 million in 2020.” The sentence beginning “While, the retail…” is not well formed as a standalone sentence, and “both … sectors … overtaken” has an incorrect verb form. Review sentence boundaries, prepositions, and verb forms, while retaining the range of structures you are attempting.

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