Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This visual describe information about numbers of jobs oppotunity in various sectors of economy of United States of America. Within time period from 1960 to 2020.
Overall diagram is assosiated with factor of Manufactring, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. Each of them have different representation like circle, traingeular, square and Diamond these are listed according to the factors are listed. Years are listed on vertical and jobs are listed in horizantal axis of graph.
Firstly, availability of jobs in Health Department is Incresing Contantly in begining almost 2 million of jobs are present but with the time being now it reachs to 15 million. Healthcare system is growing rapidly and opportunity in retail factor is incresing rapidly to 15 million form 1960 to 2000 but after that speed of growing is slow down in 2020 its about 15.5 million.
Secondly, in Manufactring field it fluctuate jobs incresed to 20 million only in time period of 20 years but after that there is decline in the jobs to 14 million constantly till 2020. and on other hand jobs in Agriculture Sector is constantly decreasing. Jobs Start from 5 million and now it reaches to 2 million only.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the four sectors and report several broad trends: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks and then declines, and agriculture falls. These are relevant features, but the overview is weakened by inaccurate or unclear reporting. For example, you say the axes are reversed, although years are on the horizontal axis and jobs on the vertical one. Healthcare reaches about 16 million, not 15 million, and retail rises to about 16 million by 2020 rather than 15.5 million. The manufacturing decline is not constant across the whole period, and the agriculture starting figure is about 6 million, not 5 million. A clearer overview comparing the leading sectors and the overall rise or fall in each would make the summary more complete and precise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two body paragraphs, and sequencing words such as “Firstly” and “Secondly” help signal the order. However, the progression is not consistently clear because the overview includes irrelevant descriptions of marker shapes and incorrectly explains the axes. Several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly the discussion of healthcare and retail, making comparisons harder to follow. The link “and on other hand” is also awkward, and the final paragraph shifts between manufacturing and agriculture without a clear comparison. Organise the body by grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, and use accurate, simple links between the trends.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some task-related vocabulary, including “decline,” “increasing,” and “fluctuate,” so the reader can identify the general trends. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “jobs opportunity,” “factor of Manufacturing,” and “speed of growing.” Repetition of “jobs” and “increasing” also makes the description less precise. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “oppotunity,” “assosiated,” “Manufactring,” and “Incresing,” which reduce the clarity and control of the vocabulary. Aim for standard chart language and check spelling carefully; precise terms such as “employment,” “sector,” “rose,” and “fell” will help you describe the data more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses linked with “but” and “after that,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in sentence formation and agreement appear in examples such as “This visual describe” and “Each of them have.” The opening fragment, “Within time period from 1960 to 2020,” is not a complete sentence, while “in its about 15.5 million” shows faulty sentence structure. Tense and article use are also uneven, as in “Jobs Start from 5 million and now it reaches.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise complete sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation when joining clauses.
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