Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given graph illustrates the jobs in four econmic sectors in years 1960 to 2020 for the job seekers here in US. Overall, there are four major sector including; Manufacturing, Reatil, Agriculture and Healthcare, offering jobs to the million of the people in the United States in a period of time [redacted phone].

Furhtermore, the max population of US is relying on jobs for meeting their basic needs and to support financialy their families.In addition, by using the graph we can compare the reliance of people on different sectors in different years and also about their ups and downs. In year 1960 the majority of the population which rely on jobs seeking towards the maufacturing sector of US economy in upcoming years its ratio was increasing gradually till the year 1980 but after this year the people moves towards the other sectors like retaling and health care and in further years its ratio was increasing rapidly and the year 2020 the focus of the most of the people remains same and they rely on these two industries of US. Moreover, the agricultural sector facing the bad response during the whole period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response identifies the four sectors and makes a broad attempt to describe changes over time, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 and the later growth of retail and healthcare. However, it only minimally reports the graph’s actual data: there are no figures, and several comparisons are vague or inaccurate. For example, it says people “moves towards” retail and healthcare, although the graph shows job numbers, not people changing sectors. It also claims the focus on these industries remained the same in 2020, without noting that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million jobs, while manufacturing fell to 13 million. The overview should clearly summarise the main trends and include accurate, selective figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and then moving through the period from 1960 to 2020. Time references such as “in year 1960,” “till the year 1980,” and “after this year” provide some progression. However, the response is largely one long paragraph, and the sequence of ideas is difficult to follow because general comments about families and reliance on jobs interrupt the graph description. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore,” “In addition,” and “Moreover” are used, but they do not always connect relevant points or clarify relationships. Separate the introduction, overview, and detailed comparisons into paragraphs, and use transitions to show changes in the data rather than add unrelated commentary.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “manufacturing,” “agricultural,” “increasing gradually,” and “increasing rapidly.” This gives it a minimally adequate range for describing trends. However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “econmic,” “Reatil,” “Furhtermore,” and “maufacturing,” and several word choices are imprecise or unnatural. Phrases such as “bad response” and “the focus of the most of the people remains same” do not accurately describe employment figures. The repeated use of “people” and “rely” also limits precision. Build a more accurate range for chart reporting, such as “employment,” “job numbers,” “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentence structures, including a sentence contrasting manufacturing’s rise with later changes, but control is inconsistent and the range remains limited. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur in phrases such as “there are four major sector” and “the people moves towards.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “in year 1960 the majority of the population,” while punctuation and spacing make some sentences harder to read. These errors sometimes obscure the intended meaning, particularly when the writer describes people moving between sectors rather than job totals changing. Use shorter, controlled sentences to report each trend, then practise combining them with accurate clauses and consistent past-tense verbs.

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