Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The Graph illustrates about the information of jobs that's given in four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is related about manufacturing, retail, agriculture and Healthcare.

To begin with, the jobs in manufacturing starts from 1960 with fifteen millions jobs and than it increased upto twenty millions in 1980 and after that it decreased slowly and it dropped around 13 millions in 2020.

Jobs of retailing is US has been started from six millions in 1960 and than slightly increased up to fifteen millions in 2020 and after that it almost stabled and went around 16 millions in 2020. The jobs of agriculture was slightly decreased from six millions to around 2.5 millions between 1969 and 2020. Lastly, the jobs of healthcare in US was went upward from two millions to sixteen millions between 1960 and 2020.

In Contrast, the manufacturing's jobs was increased than other jobs, and agriculture's jobs was the lowest job takers in US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and report several key movements, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million before falling, agriculture declining, and healthcare rising to 16 million. However, the overview is not sufficiently clear: “it is related about manufacturing, retail, agriculture and Healthcare” lists the categories rather than summarising the main pattern. The final comparison that manufacturing “was increased than other jobs” is also unclear and does not accurately capture the end of the period, when retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million, above manufacturing at 13 million. There is also a confusing retail account: it says the figure rose to 15 million in 2020 and then stabilised at 16 million in the same year. Select the main trends and compare the sectors at key points more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving from an introduction to sector details and then a concluding comparison. Phrases such as “To begin with” and “Lastly” help signal progression, and the sectors are generally discussed in a recognisable order. However, the overview does not function as a clear summary, and the body combines several trends in one paragraph, making comparisons harder to follow. Some linking is mechanical or confusing: “In Contrast” introduces a claim that is not clearly contrasted with the preceding information, while the retail sentence repeats “after that” and gives conflicting timing. Use a separate overview and organise the details into clearer comparisons, for example grouping the rising sectors and the declining ones.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic vocabulary to identify the data, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “increased,” and “decreased.” Nevertheless, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “illustrates about the information,” “jobs of retailing is US,” and “lowest job takers”; these are not natural ways to describe a graph or employment figures. “Almost stabled” is also an inaccurate form. Aim for precise chart language such as “shows,” “the number of jobs,” “rose,” “remained stable,” and “the smallest sector.” Check spelling and word forms, including “than” where you mean “then.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including clauses linked with “and” and “after that,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur repeatedly: “the jobs in manufacturing starts,” “retailing is US has been started,” and “healthcare in US was went upward.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence construction, as in “fifteen millions jobs” and “it is related about.” These errors sometimes make relationships between events unclear, particularly in the retail description. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and subject–verb agreement, and build longer sentences from a reliable pattern, such as “The figure rose from X to Y before falling to Z.”

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