Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrate the data about number of jobs in four sector, (Manufacturing, Reatil, Agriculture and Healthcare) in the United States of America, Over the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing industry had more jobs in their starting stage but it experienced some decline. Retail and Agriculture sector had the same number of jobs in the start, However they experienced some fluctuation over the period from 1960 to 2020. Furthermore, Healthcare sector had lowest jobs in 1960 but it experienced massive growth and peaked in 2020.

In 1960, Manufactoring sector had 15 millions jobs, which placed it at first position over the other three sectors. It experienced huge grothw over the 2 decades and peaked at 1980 with the jobs of 20 millions. However, after 1980 to 2020, it experienced decline and had approximately 13 millions jobs in 2020. In the contrast, Retais sector had roughly 6 million jobs and with good growth over the years it left behind the manufacturing sector in the year 2010. It peaked with round about 16 millions jobs in the year of 2020.

Furthermore, Agriculture sector had 6 millions jobs in 1960 as well, but this sector experienced decline and had roughly 3 millions jobs in 2020. Moreover, Healthcare sector had minimum jobs of roughly 2 millions in 1960. However, it experienced huge growth and reached its peak at 2020 with approximately 16 millions jobs.

Notably, Manufacturing had more jobs in 1960 but faced fluctuation and reached with 13 millions jobs in 2020. However healthcare had lowest jobs in 1960 but reached its peak in 2020 with approximately 16 millions jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and give a clear overview of the main contrasts: manufacturing starts highest and then declines, while healthcare rises from the lowest level to joint-highest by 2020. Most figures are consistent with the graph, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall. This meets the task well, with some features more fully reported than others. However, the claim that retail overtook manufacturing in 2010 is not supported by the chart, which gives data only for 1960, 1980, 2000 and 2020; by 2000 retail was still below manufacturing. Also, agriculture is described as fluctuating, although it declines and then remains level before falling slightly. More precise comparisons and fewer repeated concluding points would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, overview and detail paragraphs, and the information is generally grouped by sector. This gives the reader a basic route through the data. However, progression is weakened by repeated points: the final paragraph restates the manufacturing and healthcare comparison already made in the overview and body. Linking words such as “However,” “Furthermore” and “Moreover” recur mechanically, and some contrasts are not clearly expressed—for example, “In the contrast” introduces retail but does not smoothly connect the comparison. Organise the details into clearer comparisons, such as manufacturing against retail and agriculture against healthcare, and reserve the conclusion for a concise overview rather than repeating figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “decline,” “peaked,” “growth” and “approximately,” so the main trends are usually understandable. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural collocations are noticeable, including “Reatil,” “Manufactoring,” “grothw,” “Retais,” “huge growth” and “left behind.” Some phrases are also repetitive, particularly “jobs” and “experienced.” Aim for accurate, natural descriptions of data trends and vary the verbs used to report them. For example, “rose steadily” or “increased” is more precise than repeatedly saying a sector “experienced huge growth,” while “overtook” should be used only when the chart supports that comparison.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using clauses such as “which placed it at first position” and contrasts introduced by “but” and “however.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but errors in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence punctuation are evident. For instance, “The line graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, and “four sector” should be plural; “15 millions jobs” also uses an incorrect plural form. Capitalisation after commas is inconsistent, as in “America, Over” and “However” after a comma. Some sentence patterns are awkward, such as “after 1980 to 2020.” Review agreement and countable-number expressions, and use full stops and commas consistently while retaining a mix of sentence structures.

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