Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

AS WE CAN SEE THEIR ARE FOUR SECTORS OF JOBS IN THE GRAPH BETWWWN THE TIME PEIROD OF [redacted phone]. MAJORITY OF JOB WERE AVAILABLE IN MANUFACUTRING SECTOR IN 1980 WITH THE NUMBER OF 20M AND IT DECREASED GRADUALLY IN 2000 WITH THAT THE HIGHEST DECREASE RATIO IN 2020 AROUND 13M JOBS

MOBVING FORWARD AGRICULTURE HAD THE LEAST NUMBER OF JOBS IN 2O2O NOT LIKE 1960 WITH AROUND 6M, IF WE COMPARE AGRICULTURE AND RETAIL SO RETAIL SECTOR HAD A MASSIVE INCREASED IN JOB BY 1980 TO 2020 WITH THE NUMBER OF AROUND 16M JOBS,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify some relevant features, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s low level by 2020, and you note retail’s rise to about 16 million. However, the report is incomplete: it gives no overview of the main pattern across all four sectors and omits healthcare’s substantial growth from 2 million to 16 million, a key feature. Some details are unclear or inaccurate: manufacturing fell to 17 million in 2000 before reaching 13 million in 2020, rather than simply decreasing gradually, and the phrase “highest decrease ratio” is not supported. The response is also 56 words below the required minimum, limiting the coverage and development of the data. Include a concise overview and compare all four trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence: the first paragraph discusses manufacturing, while the second moves to agriculture and retail. Linking phrases such as “Moving forward” and “if we compare” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the response has no clear introductory paraphrase or overview, and the information is not organised into a complete account of the graph. The second paragraph ends abruptly, with healthcare unmentioned, and the long, loosely connected sentences make comparisons harder to follow. Use separate, purposeful paragraphs for an introduction and overview, followed by grouped details, and connect comparisons directly—for example, explain that retail and healthcare both rose while agriculture declined.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “decreased,” “least number,” and “massive increase,” so the reader can identify the general subject and direction of change. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, such as “highest decrease ratio” and “massive increased in job.” Frequent spelling errors—including “manufacutring,” “mobving,” and “peirod”—also reduce clarity and control. Aim for precise, conventional chart language and check spelling carefully. Useful alternatives include “the largest decline” for “highest decrease ratio” and “rose substantially” for “massive increased.” Avoid all-capital writing, which makes the report less readable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to combine ideas using clauses, as in “if we compare agriculture and retail,” but sentence structures are mostly long and loosely controlled. Errors in agreement and sentence formation appear in “their are four sectors” and “agriculture had the least number of jobs in 2020 not like 1960.” The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure, and punctuation is insufficient: the second paragraph contains a comma splice joining several independent ideas. Use complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and separate comparisons with full stops or appropriate conjunctions. A wider mix of accurate simple and complex sentences would make the trends easier to understand.

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