Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sector of US economy between 1960 and 2020

Overall, manufacturing was the largest employment sector in the beginning but it's figure declined over time. In contrast, retail and healthcare experienced growth. Agriculture remained smallest sector throughout most of the period.

In 1960, manufacturing employed approximately fifteen million people making it the leading sector. this figure increase to twenty million in 1980 before falling to around seventeen million in 2000. By 2020, employment in manufacturing has dropped to approximately thirteen million.

Retail employment started at about six million in 1960. it then rose gradually to ten million in 1980 and fifteen million in 2000. By the end of period, the figure had reached around sixteen million making retail one of the largest employment sectors.

Healthcare also showed a significant upward trend, increasing from approximately two million jobs in 1960 to five million people in 1980. It continued to rise to around eleven million in 2000 and sixteen million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear overview of the main contrast: manufacturing starts as the largest sector and then declines, while retail and healthcare grow. The figures you report for these three sectors are generally accurate, and you make relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the rise in healthcare to 16 million by 2020. However, agriculture is only mentioned in the overview; its fall from about 6 million to 2 million is not described in the body. Also, saying it remained the smallest “throughout most” of the period is imprecise, since it is the smallest at every point shown. Covering this series and sharpening that comparison would make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is organised into a brief introduction, an overview and separate paragraphs for manufacturing, retail and healthcare. This gives the information a clear overall sequence, and time markers such as “In 1960,” “in 1980” and “By 2020” help readers follow changes. The contrastive opening “In contrast” also effectively signals the overview’s main comparison. To make the progression more complete, include agriculture in the detailed account rather than leaving it out after the overview. Some transitions are also repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “By” to introduce later figures. More varied linking and clearer connections between the sector paragraphs would strengthen cohesion while preserving the straightforward structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-appropriate vocabulary, including “employed,” “leading sector,” “declined,” “rose gradually” and “significant upward trend.” These choices communicate the main movements clearly, and terms such as “employment” help avoid repeating “jobs” throughout. Some phrasing is less natural or precise: “different sector” should be plural, and “sixteen million people” shifts from reporting jobs to reporting people. “It’s figure” is also an inaccurate form for the intended possessive, and “one of the largest employment sectors” is vague when the data show retail and healthcare both at about 16 million in 2020. Aim for consistent, precise descriptions of job numbers and sector rankings.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and more developed structures, including the participial phrase “making it the leading sector” and the contrastive sentence beginning “In contrast.” Most meanings remain clear, but some errors in sentence control and accuracy are noticeable. For example, “this figure increase” needs a past-tense verb, while “employment in manufacturing has dropped” shifts unnecessarily from the past narrative to the present perfect. Capitalisation is inconsistent after full stops (“this figure” and “it then”), and the opening sentence lacks a final full stop. There are also missing articles in “the beginning” and “remained smallest.” Check tense consistency, sentence openings and article use during revision; these corrections would improve accuracy without requiring more complicated structures.

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